“Do you hear that, cats?” I fume aloud,
Four have sleeping spots claimed in
The living room, it’s a latish hour. “Keesha
is eating your leftover food! You brats,
You are so spoiled! Even old, cold-shriven
Sharpeis know what is given is gold!”

I walked their width to go and pee,
It didn’t matter, though. Within relativity.
They can never leave me alone
in the bathroom. Point in fact.

I was gone, yesterday, for an hour and a half,
Having breakfast with a human,
I got in the house and felt an urge to purge
Into a commodity. Just made it in time,
A splash intervened in split seconds, it was okay,
Just one of those bathroom things.

What made me laugh, hopelessly, was how my cats
Always think it is a good idea to visit me
In the bathroom, we are a threesome of girls
With a one of the other, the door’s hardly
Ever closed, our ‘space’ is small..

He/she came in, we can’t remember which, all
Cats in our care are spayed or neutered, but, swe
is kingqueen. It matters not, he is a mother,
Has always seen our wrinkled Shar-pei as beauty,
Cat-defined. Who can argue with that?

So, I shoo Fluffy away, he goes as far as the other rug,
Flips his butt around, and licks his private parts!
I was getting my toilet paper ready for myself,
And I couldn’t stop laughing, almost

Fell off my throne, but not quite. What I did was
To lean the small distance to my sink, turn on the faucet
And drench my fingers. He knew what that meant, he hates
Water, and he scrammed faster than I could follow!

Ah, another small victory…

Against cats. Why bother?

Erin Elizabeth Kelly-Moen
© Copyright 11/9/06