She’d been drinking, doing shots,
She’d been drinking, toasting death,
She’d been drinking, flaunting life,

wanting oblivion’s faint
wanting equivalencies weight
wanting nothing from herself (except)

to stop the thoughts in her head.
to stop browbeating her mind.
to stop obsessing on being alive.

She wasn’t getting mean, or ugly,
She wasn’t falling down, or up,
She wasn’t hopelessly weeping, or banal,

or maudlin … sad, perhaps.
or pieced … crazy, perhaps.
or positive … waiting, perhaps.

Always sad, always mourning
Always crazy, always feeling
Always waiting, always extruding

some ridiculous cause.
some ludicrous cause.
some tremulous cause…

Erin Elizabeth Kelly-Moen
© Copyright 2/16/07