Seventy-two hours... (poem) by Erin Elizabeth Kelly-Moen on AuthorsDen

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Seventy-two hours...

by Erin Elizabeth Kelly-Moen — Read all 1,670 poems by Erin Elizabeth Kelly-Moen

It's been 72 hours since I posted a piece in a "constructive critism" forum, no answers or suggestions, after 72 hrs.... What am I to think? I've gone up and down the spectrum, what's left?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tuesday, June 24, 2003

Mechanical time
proceeds on cue, tick, tock,
see the clock? It measures
the human day. Ticking, tocking
forever knocking…

Relative time,
sways and skews, blink, not,
what’s a clock? It measures
the human way. Blinking, blocking,
forever tocking…

Combined time,
aches and thrills. Hippitty hop,
where’s a clock? It measures,
what human’s pay. Sinking, Stalking,
forever clocking…

She feels Life eating her away.

Erin Moen
6/24/02
Copyright 2003 ©

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Reviewed by Phyllis Jean Green

Reviewed on July 7, 2003

This is wonderful! Brava!! Pea <3

Reviewed by E. Richardson

Reviewed on June 25, 2003

Nicely done! This if well crafted and touches on a subject all can relate to.

Reviewed by Katy Walsvik (Reader)

Reviewed on June 25, 2003

Erin, this was a really tough one for me.. I'm feeling extremely squeezed from far too many directions.. I should have known you'd be damned good at even this! From my head to your pen.. sigh.. amazing! (You are, you know). love, katy.

Reviewed by Christine Morell

Reviewed on June 25, 2003

A wonderful poem, Erin. I was engrossed.
~Chrissie

Reviewed by Trish - The Trickster

Reviewed on June 25, 2003

Maybe you should stop watching the clock, and then it won't matter how much time has passed....;-) Wonderful, wonderful write.

Reviewed by Nicole Davis Vergara (Reader)

Reviewed on June 25, 2003

Exceelant flow...Excellant Piece...Excellantly Penned!!!!
~Nikki~

Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie

Reviewed on June 25, 2003

This was excellent, I loved this one, Loved the flow and feel of time here,

Reindeer

Reviewed by Debra Brown (Reader)

Reviewed on June 25, 2003

great writing! I really could feel the impact of and hear the sound, each second of time, dragging feet and then skipping quickly away. Sometimes time weighs so heavily! *hug*

Reviewed by Ted Sheridan (Reader)

Reviewed on June 25, 2003

On time is when I get there. Try it.

Reviewed by Paul Berube

Reviewed on June 25, 2003

Erin, excellent poem. Time passes so quickly there just never seems to be enough to accomodate our schedules. Throw that clock out the window, " Watch time fly." Wonderful write.

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes

Reviewed on June 25, 2003

Fascinating write!!

Love
Tinka

Reviewed by Cherokee Sage (Reader)

Reviewed on June 24, 2003

Little lady, if you write like this all the time, there is no need to improve. Well done.
Peace,
Cherokee

Reviewed by Elizabeth

Reviewed on June 24, 2003

Have you been reading Poe, again, Erin? Throw your watch/clock away. I envy those who can get by with no clock or watch, except they are always asking me what time it is. [smiles] Very good poem.

Reviewed by E T Waldron

Reviewed on June 24, 2003

Be careful Erin it sounds like you have become the clock ticking, tocking,locking and blocking, your life away!;-)Fascinating write!

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