She gets so disgusted that she says,

“They would all look better with their tongues fillet!”

She even has their children singing, “Father Put the Cows Away”

His wife keeps praying someday we’ll get so thin

That our milk will taste funny, and he’ll switch to bees and honey

She’s even so jealous that when he takes us out –

To pasture, she remarks, “You even herd the one’s you love!”

We grew so tired of her petty views; we came up with a plot –

Get even, “Mooder,” we yelled alot

We waited for her to come into the dairy –

She did, all dressed-up like a wicked fairy

As she came near we kicked a bucket, boy did it sail

It landed, full of milk, on her head,

And we all yelled, “Hey, lady, you’re looking a little pail!”

We then added insult to injury by giving her a shot of methane gas

She hauled out of the barn, into a pile of cow dung, right on her ass!