One of the toughest things in this world is teaching yourself how to love, especially when most everyone seems to hate you. Not only this, but hate seems to be an easier choice. I can be around someone I don't like, and immediately I'll get these feelings to hate them. Then I have to go through all these mental changes trying to counteract these negative feelings. This is when I start trying to find something about them that I like. For years I had to do the same thing with myself. I had to find reasons to love myself out of all the evil forces that were trying to bring me down from within.
I won the battle with myself but I'm still suffering with the fight to try and love people who actually piss me the F off. It's a constant battle that hate seems to want to win. Sometimes I find myself giving into my feelings of hate. Then I slap myself back to the place I made up my mind I wanted to be. Which is to love, understand and forgive my fellow man.
I know most of you who read my writes of love and positivity feel that I am just a wonderful person for writing like this, when the truth is I'm struggling like hell to stay in a positive light. People actually piss me off, it's not hard to see why God is so hard on us. Humans are a trip around a thousand universes. This so called family love is one of the worst trips I've ever experienced in life. My father never gave a good D about anyone but himself. I actually feel better just leaving my family alone. I feel better suffering alone also, rather than to have others always f'ing with me. Don't get me wrong, good people and family will make your day, but good ones are an extinct breed.
My love control is very good even though I have to constantly stay on top of staying in love and positivities light. But watchout, don't hurt my feelings real bad, the monsters will jump out on you. I really have to pray to God to get them back in their cages. Sometimes before I do, they will have done their damage. Then in comes the regrets and the climb down out of the trees.
Other than this, life is like wood. Germites are constantly eating at us. Good luck and be glad you're not a chicken, cow or a duck. Humans are contantly eating at them.
Ah, Grady, how often I have to remind myself that Jesus forgave even those who executed Him: now that is true love. We grow into that perfection and you are working it every day. That's how we grow. Great write... could have done without the implied foul language: I find you too intelligent to even consider using it to make your point. ~~BonnieQ
Reviewed by P. Michaels (Reader)
Reviewed on January 31, 2004
Grady, love is not easy that's for sure and forgiveness is not easy either, but it does keep us healther. One thought to keep you going, when you think no one loves you is "God loves me." This works miracles. It did for me.
Here's a big hug for you, Grady (( )) It takes a great deal of honesty to write something like this. I admire you for digging so deeply into your soul, for putting it into words, and for sharing it with the rest of us. Thank you. You've made me stop to take a good look at where my love-ability stands these days.
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Love, Patty
Wena lo makeha me sadha
whitha this oneha eGrady!!
eGrady neadsha lo comfort oepa lo mena!!
Lov eTinka