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Dayvid Graybill

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Member Since: Apr, 2010

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Hollow Like a Chocolate Bunny
by Dayvid Graybill → (All Poetry by Dayvid Graybill)
   Rated "PG13" by the Author.
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Hollow Like a Chocolate Bunny

 

On the way to her mom and dad’s

Riding backward on the train

She starts to get nervous

She gets like this whenever she goes home

 

Talk to me, I say, but turns her back

Shipyards flying by in the rain

You know he won’t be there, I want to say

He’s been dead for fourteen years

 

Pulling back as my hand touches her arm

Unconscious memory brings instinct

Old wrecked cars piled high on the left

Slowing without a word sadness fills her face

 

Helplessness slinks across the seat

I know him and want to kill him, but he’s dead

He still wields power laughing over her mind

Green fields of Winter wheat silently

 

Wanting to love those sad green eyes

Closed and no love can enter

They say she’s a strong woman

But I know she’s as hollow as a chocolate bunny

 

2010 (c) Dayvid Graybill


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 Reviews of "Hollow Like a Chocolate Bunny"
Reviewed on October 15, 2010
"Unconscious memory brings instinct"
what a shame there are those who have
been the victim of violations trespass
very moving although I disagree with
ever wanting to kill another person
would they be better of dead? perhaps

Filling Hollow Spaces
Vickie

Reviewed by Patrick Granfors
Reviewed on October 14, 2010
Beautifully composed story of a lost life lived. Patrick

Reviewed by Padre Scott West
Reviewed on October 14, 2010
I agree with Regis, that was very compelling, Your poem put me in that seat with her and I want to hold her.

Reviewed by Regis Auffray
Reviewed on October 12, 2010
Very compelling and "real," Dayvid. I truly "felt" what your character feels and your sentiments are vivid. Love and peace to you,

Regis

Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater
Reviewed on October 12, 2010
Strong delivery. A very real character, Dayvid.

Love & wheat sheaves crying the neck wheat doll on the harvest cart,
Sage

Reviewed by Richard King
Reviewed on October 12, 2010
Understanding someone's pain and the reason's behind it do not necessarily allow us to ease that pain. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could just fix it for them. Well said. Dick

Reviewed by Lew Duffey
Reviewed on October 12, 2010
A wonderful ode to the feeling left by one who is forever lost.
God bless,
Lew

Reviewed by Christine Alwin
Reviewed on October 12, 2010
Wrapped to take your reader right into this emotional ride...love this!
Christine

Reviewed by Peter Schlosser (Reader)
Reviewed on October 12, 2010
Beautifully written and very poignant. Good work indeed.

Reviewed by D Johnson
Reviewed on October 12, 2010
Deep, dark and painful...one could feel the emotions all the way through.

Dan

Reviewed by Christine Tsen
Reviewed on October 12, 2010
Beautifully done!
What a lonely spirit ~
Best Wishes,
Christine

Reviewed by Paul Berube
Reviewed on October 12, 2010
Nicely done, Dayvid.

Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Reviewed on October 12, 2010
So powerfully sad.

Reviewed by Dawn Anderson
Reviewed on October 12, 2010
Dayvid, this so touches the heart.

Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan
Reviewed on October 12, 2010
poignant write!


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