Self Esteem

All I ever did was give and care,
And that is all I ever plan to do…
With all this love I so much wish to share
I wish I could be sharing it with you.

But there’s one thing I always overlook.
The thing that I am always last to see.
I lost my family, guess that’s what it took
To help me focus finally on me.

It’s not my fault, the loss that I’ve endured-
But with such loss a lesson must be learned.
The lesson is- I’ve learned it be assured-
I can’t be giving things that are not earned.

A giver often teaches folks to take,
But not with thankful hearts one would expect.
This error is the one I always make,
And that is why I suffer from neglect.

I freely give and so become confused
When I discover there is nothing left,
With nothing coming back I’m only used,
I’m robbed, but I’m the one who caused the theft.

I love you dearly but I see too well
What’s coming is another broken dream.
But this time it is yours- I broke the spell
By holding one thing back, my self esteem.

John H. Bidwell