“As Is Written,

In The Ancient Book of Ed,

The Honey-Wine,

Must Flow!”

Viking Edvin Larson

Just as we Eds were now preparing for battle

An old red and white sail now came into view

On its deck stood a fierce looking Nordic man

“Yo!  My Fellow Eds, I can’t say I’ve missed you!”

“But the Ancient Book of Ed prophecy has come,

And it is time for all of you to stop all of these whines,

The proud Viking Ed way of life must continue forever,

As must my ancient vineyards, for my noble honey-wine!”

“Yo!  Viking Ed!  How the hell are ya?" shouted Jersey Devil

“It’s about time someone showed up around here that I like!

I still remember that vacation I went on as a kid to visit you,

When you let me ride through yer old vineyards on my bike!”

“Sacre Bleu!  Now we listen to more drivel?” said Edvard

“Have we all really gathered here at this ancient Isle of Ed,

To exchange Ed family photo albums and vacation stories,

If this is so, I think I’ll just get drunk, and then I’ll go to bed!”

“Bite your tongue, Edvard The Elder!”  yelled Viking Edvin

“And it will not be my Honey-Wine, you Eds feast on this night,

By next early morning’s light, I plan to be the last Ed Standing,

So, if all of you Eds and Edwinas are finally ready – Let’s Fight!”

“Excuse Me!  A few small details first, if you please.” said Commodore

“According to Page 16, in the Ancient Book of Ed, as I’ve memorized it,

Any Ed claiming their ancient birthright must first show The Mark of Ed,

Since I verified it last time, show your ‘Ed Mark’ to this Pee Wee Twit!”

“Yo!  Little Commodore Boy! Yes, You!” shouted Pirate Edwina La Belle

“Let’s just let Pee Wee there continue to play with all his little animals,

I, Pirate Edwina La Belle, and all of my very busty curious shipmates,

Have far more experience, judging the mark of any man, Big or Small!”

“Fine!  Fine!  Can we please get on with this already?" shouted Edvard

“All of this silly chatter is giving me a huge headache already today,

When everyone's finally ready to do what we Ancient Eds came here for,

Can someone please wake me from my nap, so I can finally say En Garde?!”

Alas, the die has now been cast, centuries in the making,

And I have always known that this day was coming, after all;

Will this extremely tiny oasis in the middle of these expanding seas,

Become a Vineyard, Bordello, British Colony, Spa, Zoo, or Bingo Hall?

Here we are, all six born to be Eds,

(And Edwinas, Ednas, and Ediths)

Yet siblings, in this, our darkest hour;

Here we now belong, battling each other,

With our ancient, mystifying, ‘Ed’ powers.

-Please Stay Tuned-

Edvard The Elder

Says He Has an Entire Armada on the Way;

The Always Wacky Jersey Devil Ed

Has Sent For an East Coast Mob Paddleboat;

Old Cousin Eduardo From old Ed’Spana
Has Finally Been Heard From;

And Ole Cap'n Ed Farrand,

Says He'll Be Late,

A Hurricane Has Ripped His Sails.

Just How Many ‘Ed’ ships,

Can Possibly Fit on The Photo Above?

Rufuz is Now Taking Any and All Wagers

☺2007, Mr. Pee Wee Noah Ed