Dear God...Goodbye
She stood there by my side, never failing to meet my need.
I lay there staring at the tile ceiling with fear gripping my trembling heart.
She held my hand, caressed my pain filled face and said I love you Allen.
And it is by this love I have for you that I can truly say, all is well.
I winced at the insertion of the cold sterile IV
and drifted soft as the cool liquid entered my veins.
I watched as wires and tubes and beeping machines
formed a womb around my now still form.
Figures in white busied around with charts in hand,
jotting numbers, and asking questions about my insurance plan.
I looked at my wife, and she smiled that smile
that captured my love so many years ago.
And without speaking she showed me the truth of love.
Just a few feet away and separated by a thin veil,
The rescue squad rolled in an elderly lady from a nearby nursing home.
She moaned in discomfort and pleads for help in Jesus name.
She cried out in fear, she wept in silence alone,
I then looked at my wife Leah and realized my fear was now gone.
I had for weeks feared of myself, about myself, and had became obsessed with self.
Yet, I had it all…I had the love of my wife who never once left my side,
I had the love that she gave forth in her prayers both day and night,
Yet just a few feet away, lay another human being without anyone.
She faced uncertainty, and she cried…oh how she cried.
Yes, I learned much from my hospital stay…I now have meds,
to help ease my pain, and I am now home with the love of my life.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
"Dear God, forgive me of my selfish ways, and thank you for your grace that has enlightened my way. Thank you for giving more love than I deserve in the dedication of my wife. Thank you for making her the woman she is today. For lord, I am but a lowly self serving sinner who has by your hand seen another day.
I pray to thee that you will keep my mind and heart from myself and open my spirit to the true love of giving to all. For God it was through my own pain and suffering that I realized that we derive not our healing through doctors and medicines, but through the true gift of love that you impart on those who are called unto your purpose. I therefore God give myself unto you and your calling that I may too be like the beacon of light that my wife has been for me…and God, The lady next to me in the room at the hospital…though she has no one…I pray that you make your presence known to her this instant…Amen"
J. Allen Wilson © 1/27/06
www.Jallenwilson.com
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And that is truly a marvelous gift to have, J.Allen - and one you realize is so precious.
Keep the Faith, Blessings to both of you, and regain your peace and strength, my friend.
Its time for you to take a long sabbatical, and come back to us with your batteries fully recharged !
May the Lord Bless and keep you Allen and Leah !
I too, am certain that we have not seen the last of you with the Grace of God !
Peter
We've written and read many writes here, and I always knew when I read yours they were truly from your heart. I know as well as anyone how illness can change forever the way you look at life and your loved ones, and by the Grace of God, being granted another chance at making things better and right. The talent of writing, is also a gift He has given you, for without his touch, it would only be words thrown together on a blank page. Maybe at this time, you are right, maybe you do need to rest and delve into the arms of the love and healing that only your loved ones and God can supply you, but I also know, that in time, you will feel the need to return to your pen, and when that happens I can only hope and pray that you will return also to us here at the Den.
Allen, I thank you for allowing me the opportunity through the years to have the pleasure of enjoying your many writes, and I will continue to pray for your healing both your body, mind and soul.
God Bless,
Lisa
Felix
Eileen