Selfish Cowardice…

I speak of the self,

In the first person or not,

I do not speak of an elf,

Or you or anyone else…

I am here when I write,

To tell you of me,

I tell you this cause I think you can see,

As in my writes herein tonight,

My mind is flooded with thoughts of the sea…

Suicide seems a good way out,

Or at the very least it seems just about,

But for Rufuz I would have been dead this night,

I love him too much to just die and leave him without…

I am sorry, folks, I have no idea what I am saying,

Nor do I care to whine, but it seems the only way to relieve my pain,

I know I have it pretty good, others have it worse,

But that is no way an easy thing for me to see,

When I am drowning in my own tears & worries…

So if you will, please just accept that I am ranting and raving,

Like the true psychotic I sometimes purport to be,

Just a cover up is my humor, my jokes and my comedy,

In a way I would wish to be dead, easier it is, or so I have said,

Seems sometimes the only way out of my recent predicament, yes the remedy…

                        © ed ~ 9/9/04