Nerves

My nerves
My nerves are bothering me
Everything sets me off it seems
I want to snap
I want to run
But I know that would be no fun
So I sit here racking my brain
Needing to find work has me going insane
Trying to get rid of this bulge
Wanting to be a better version of myself
Oh why must I be tortured this way?
Torturing myself every day
I can’t seem to find freedom
No matter where I turn
Oh when will I ever learn?
Seems as though my life is passing me by
I know it’s the truth and I ponder
Will I ever live before I die?
Or will I always be alone?
Holding inside all of these talents that I own
These words are mine
They can’t be taken away
But what is the Lord really trying to say?
I have been writing for oh so long
But no one will hire me to write their song
Or perhaps a poem for a special day
I just would like for someone to say
“Hey, you, I need you over there.”
But no one comes running, applying, seeking, searching
No one cares
So why have a gift if it does me no good?
Or should I keep pursuing the life I had hoped I would
Live, live out
A dream so true
I would do anything to not feel blue
It’s time to end this depression
No matter where I must roam
I must seek my freedom
Before my time comes to go home
I know I can do this
Someway somehow
Must keep on fighting
Must push through the crowd
And when you read this
Years down the line
You’ll know I made it in God’s time
And hopefully in the end it will all be great
Just to know I survived the hell at this particular gate
I would have moved to the next wall and pushed on through
Or at least that’s what I am hoping to do
So encourage or ignore me
Celebrate or deny
But this moment in time is mine
So if you are coming along with me on my way
Hang on for the ride is bumpy and quite challenging
But I promise the ending will shine so bright
It will be worth it to continue to fight
Fight; fight on until you win indeed
It is worth it in the end to succeed!

By, Tiffany Simar
2/7/13