Honesty (In the Late Hour)

That moment when you openly admit that you hate yourself

And yet you are told to go look in the mirror and tell yourself daily that you love yourself

Like I could really trick my heart or mind into believing such falsehood

I have had my moments

But my heart is forever broken

As I am #foreveralone

So what of it?

If I could snap my fingers and change things I would

Every morning I wake up and fight to stay awake

My anxiety is constantly skyrocketing

Even the Clonzapam does not make a difference now

I’m losing my love for things

This poem has sat dormant since the twenty-fifth of February

And now I am finally back to it again

My friend Mrs. Coppock told me once that “if I was not writing, I was not doing anything”

I cannot even call myself a writer anymore which hurts

And I weigh so damn much that I do not know how to love myself

Every damn day is a struggle and I hate living this way

I have a therapist, a psychiatrist, and want to break free from everything

My life is going no where

I am just living day to day

I do not believe that my life was meant to go this way

But I am glad that I could vent

These words on the page again

Adieu to you, my friends,

Thank you for putting up with me!

By, Tiffany Simar

2/25/18-3/10/18