this is an old style that I am trying to break away from so I am posting it as a reminder to not write like this
No need to comment
Ringlets of worn flesh burn from shackles born of obstruction chains play lonely chimes as metal and rock clash in bitter battle
Eulogies It is the light captured restrained from existence exiled from the radiance it once knew
Shredded now is the fabric of freedom to shout even to whisper what so wants to be heard
Dare it breech the unspoken the forbidden sin of truth
The wax melts the wick shortens but the flame is eternal as it transmutes stagnate energy into the heat of deprived expression
It wanders followed on tracks of destiny purpose is clouded in the mists of understanding yet it beckons for release before the executioner sharpens his last blade
Let this be the epitaph When the breath of life blows out the last flicker before it is light once more free to express what is within and will always be"
Old maybe, but very moving according to the reviews below, so why not just add to the collection with new styles and keep this one that works so well. I am in agreement with those below...wonderful.
I also just read your bio and found it very interesting as well. Love the attitude. Anyway, nice to be reading you. Trish
"Dare it breech the unspoken
the forbidden sin
of truth"
Dare it? This is a superb write. As for this being a reminder not to write like this, has the change already occured "within" is it in the process? or are you hoping? I only say that, because I believe very often, we write "in the moment" of our emotions :) Thank you for sharing this superb poem.
YikKkkkes, Don't YOU dare- *( Unless you find good reason, that Supersedes my thinking) change your style! This is a Powerful and Feltful and DEEP writing- Makes you put your thinkin' cap on... and Keep it on! I loved it- really---- This part-(purpose is clouded in the mists of
understanding
yet it beckons for release
before the executioner sharpens
his last blade)
The whole poem grabs ya'- Thank you 4 getting it out- Lady,Sheee
I feel a sense of despair along with a powerful release of emotions. Not so sure you should give up this style. It is thought provoking with much imagery.
Antoinette
"Let this be the epitaph
When the breath of life
blows out the last flicker
before it is light once more
free to express what is within
and will always be" < < < < < < < < < <
When the editing is completed, this poem will be
a top on the list poetic grand.
A further collection of poems, many from years in the Middle East, but also the California San Francisco and Central Coast areas (Santa Cruz, Carmel, Big Sur, Berkeley, etc.).
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ROFL
Only you could make this readable.
Elizabeth
I also just read your bio and found it very interesting as well. Love the attitude. Anyway, nice to be reading you. Trish
Excellent poem, Walter!
~Linda
"Dare it breech the unspoken
the forbidden sin
of truth"
Dare it? This is a superb write. As for this being a reminder not to write like this, has the change already occured "within" is it in the process? or are you hoping? I only say that, because I believe very often, we write "in the moment" of our emotions :) Thank you for sharing this superb poem.
warm hugs
Elga
understanding
yet it beckons for release
before the executioner sharpens
his last blade)
The whole poem grabs ya'- Thank you 4 getting it out- Lady,Sheee
Letitia
God bless,
Sandie.
Ron
Love Tinka
TRASK
This is vivid imagery and tells a potent story!
Blessings to you,
Eileen
Antoinette
When the breath of life
blows out the last flicker
before it is light once more
free to express what is within
and will always be" < < < < < < < < < <
When the editing is completed, this poem will be
a top on the list poetic grand.
The last stanza is a golden one.
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU