Butterflies taste with their feet. (Butterfly feet are always in good taste.)

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. (But what if they get a reputable doctor, … )  

In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world's nuclear weapons combined. (The next war will be fought with hurricanes.)

On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year. (What ever happened to chicken?)

On average people fear spiders more than they do death. (And they fear death more than ice cream. Does this mean they fear spiders more than ice cream?) 

Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants. (The other ten percent got into town yesterday.)

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married. (The other sixty-five percent are only engaged.)

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.    (I can’t imagine a clam jumping, (although the miners out west had some trouble, way back, with outlaws doing that, only they called it "claim jumping.") Perhaps “mammal” is meant rather than animal. But I can’t imagine a sloth or even an o’possum jumping.)

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older. (The others may only make it to 115.)

It's possible to lead a cow upstairs ... but not downstairs. (And you can’t make them drink when you get them up there.)

Women blink nearly twice as much as men. (But men wink nearly four times as much as women, so it evens out.)

It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow. (You never know where your elbow has been.)

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building. (They hadn’t heard of Harry Potter.)

A snail can sleep for three years. (Well, why not. What the heck is a snail going to do if it’s awake? Slime its neighbor?) 

No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH." (Huh? January/nary, February/scary, March/parch, April/frill, May/day, June/spoon, July/you lie, August/fussed, September/timber, October/sober, November/dying ember, December/limber. There now, you see?)  

Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches. (Mistakes will happen. This should probably read, “Average life span of a Cincinnati Reds pitcher: 7 pitches.) 

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. SCARY!!!  (I thought there was something funny looking about those 115 year olds)

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. (He knew the drill, didn’t want to hang.)

All polar bears are left-handed. (You can tell by the way they slant their letters when they write.)

In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes. (It would probably have been just as sanitary if they’d just worn a hat when they were cooking.)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (Duh! Its toenail is bigger than its brain.)

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. (Just think how literate you could get if you used the whole keyboard.)

"Go," is the shortest complete sentence in the English language. (“A” is as short as any incomplete sentence in the English language.) 

If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall. (If Barbie were life-size, a lot of little girls would have to ask their fathers to help hold her up while they dressed her. A lot of fathers would put aside everything else and help their little daughters.)

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out. (But it can give you the finger.)

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match. (The match was invented before the microwave. Does this mean that the cigarette lighter was invented before the microwave?)

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day. (I bet you can guess what they can’t do the next day!)

Almost everyone who reads this will try to lick their elbow. (Everyone else will choke trying to lick their knee.)