I suppose we all make the mistake of calling someone friend when they are really just an acquaintance whom we pass along life's way.
To Lose a Friend People come into our lives To serve some purpose or reason Then they are gone like a puff of wind Receding like the ending season.
There are times when friendships end When nothing can hold them together When uninvited feelings get in the way Stirring up stormy weather. One friend might begin to think We can mend this gap if we try But it takes two to bridge the breach To avoid saying that final goodbye.
Some people are so caught up in self They think others are always at fault They never ponder their own mistakes To see the harm they’ve wrought.
To my regret, I lost such a friend How wasteful it seems, my loss I watched her change and withdraw each day Becoming frequently very cross.
I’m proud that I tried to be a friend
By showing kindness, patience and concern, Sadly, it never seemed enough for her And her odd resentment began to burn.
We shared so many things we did Camaraderie for many months on end Then she started withdrawing and pulling away As though tired of being my friend.
I showered her with kindness and praise When she shared good news with me While she ignored my few blessings That I shared with her, you see.
When I told her something good, Such as having lunch with a childhood friend, She wouldn’t even acknowledge my note I sensed our friendship would end.
But not because I didn’t try, To keep it all together Soon I began to feel that nothing I did Could mend the stormy weather.
The problem seemed to worsen each new day There seemed little more I could do or say Whatever stirred inside her head Would be her demon when she knelt to pray.
To lose a friend is such a hard thing to do When there is no answer to our “why”
An emptiness grows deeply inside. As we breathe goodbye on an empty sigh.
THIS WORK BRINGS TO MIND A VERY SAD OCCURRENCE IN MY LIFE A FEW YEARS AGO. A VERY DEAR 'FRIEND', (WE HAD KNOWN ONE ANOTHER SINCE GRADE SCHOOL...SHE INTRODUCING ME TO HER COUSIN WHICH BECAME MY HUSBAND)WHOM I HAD LOST TOUCH WITH SUDDENLY POPPED BACK UP IN MY LIFE. IT WAS AT A TIME WHEN I WAS PLANNING TO SELL MY HOUSE AND MOVE INTO AN APARTMENT AND HER SUGGESTION TO MOVE TO GEORGIA WHERE SHE LIVED SEEMED LIKE A GREAT IDEA. HOWEVER, AFTER MOVING SHE CHANGED...RADICALLY. SHE WAS NOT THE PERSON I KNEW...SHE BECAME MEAN AND NASTY AND...ALWAYS SAID NEGATIVE THINGS TO ME. THE ONLY TIME SHE WAS NICE OR KIND WAS WHEN SHE THOUGHT I HAD MADE AN ERROR THEN SHE WAS NICE IN AN CONDENSCENDING MANNER. WHEN I QUESTIONED HER AS TO WHY, SHE WAS EVASIVE BUT CONTINUED TO ACT SO NEGATIVELY THAT FINALLY I GREW TIRED OF HER AND ONE DAY I FINALLY TOLD HER...THAT I NO LONGER TRUSTED HER. SHE BECAME IRATE AND THEN TOLD ME THAT IT WAS SHE WHO SHOULD NOT TRUST ME BECAUSE I WAS THE ONE WHO ABUSED THE TRUST IN OUR RELATIONSHIP BY SLEEPING WITH HER HUSBAND. I DON'T RECALL WHETHER IT WAS THE FIRST ONE OR THE SECOND HUSBAND I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE SLEPT WITH(SHE HAD THREE)...BUT I WAS SHOCKED! BECAUSE THIS NEVER HAPPENED! AND WHEN I STOPPED TO CONSIDER THE MATTER...SHE HAD BEEN DIVORCED FROM HUSBAND'S ONE AND TWO, YEARS AGO. WHICH MEANS THAT FOR YEARS UPON YEARS SHE HARBORED THESE WRONGFUL THOUGHTS IN HER HEART AGAINST ME, AND AS GOOD A FRIENDS AS WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE...SHE NEVER TOOK THE TIME TO 'ASK' ME WAS IT TRUE OR NOT. SHE JUST 'ASSUMED' IT TO BE TRUE BECAUSE...HER COUSIN(MY EX)TOLD HER IT WAS. NEEDLESS, TO SAY I WAS SO HURT BECAUSE I COULDN'T BELIEVE THAT ALL THOSE YEARS OF 'FRIENDSHIP' SHE NEVER REALLY KNEW ME AT ALL. IF SHE DID, SHE WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT I COULD HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING SO VILE AND UNDERHANDED AS WHAT SHE ACCUSED ME OF. DID SHE BELIEVE ME WHEN I TOLD HER IT WASN'T TRUE? I DO NOT KNOW AND I DIDN'T CARE...I ONLY WANTED TO GET AS FAR AWAY FROM HER AS I COULD POSSIBLY GET. I HAD LOST A FRIEND....YEARS AGO...AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT. AS I SAID, IT HURT ME QUITE A BIT...BUT I HAVE HEALED AND FORGIVEN HER, THOUGH, I WILL NEVER, EVER BE CLOSE WITH HER AGAIN. I HAVE NOT SEEN HER SINCE I MOVED BACK TO DC AND SUBSEQUENTLY BACK TO GA(I'M IN ATLANTA...AWAY FROM THE LIKES OF A HIPPOCRITE LIKE HER)WHERE MY DAUGHTER AND HER FAMILY LIVES. THIS IS A GOOD WORK THAT I CAN RELATE TO IN A GREAT WAY AND YOU DID THE RIGHT THING...SAY GOODBYE...LET IT GO AND 'PRESS ON' BECAUSE SHE NEVER WAS A FREIND ANYWAY. THANKS FOR SHARING AND GOD BLESS, LOVE,
JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS
Just found your poem. Losses are all so tragic, especially those that end because of distancing oneself from another. I never could understand why, but one still misses that friend.
Hi Jeanette
I'm sorry to say that, i missed this when it first posted but,today it found me.
A very moving flowing write,you did a nice job all the way through to the last word,I have saved this one thanks.stan nassano
What a wonderful and insightful write, I had one of those friends as well, it was a situation that still bothers me to this day! I could never figure out what I had done to make her angry at me, or if it was something in her life that made her bitter and I was the scape goat! But nevertheless, a true friend is much different! Enjoyed this much.
Blessings,
Joyce Bowling
It is a sad thing, but sometimes friends come and go. The way of life's journey I suppose.
Be safe,
Karen
Reviewed by Laura Mayer (Reader)
Reviewed on May 10, 2007
Jeannette,
This poem stirred my soul with sadness for your loss. To lose a friend whithout knowing the "why" is very traumatic. My heart goes out to you.
God Bless,
Hugs, Laura
Jeanette, I could feel your sadness in this poem and the need to make peace with your friend. Sometimes it's hard to accept a turn around of a friends personality but remember your heart was right and you tried to do the right thing...this should help to ease your pain...knowing you kept your cool and continued to remain a friend regardless of her attitude toward you...forge forth and feel satisfaction in knowing you did your best. She must suffer her own brought on consequences and she will eventually feel a sadness that she lost your friendship because a true friend is hard to find.
You express your sorrow of losing your friend so eloquently, I felt your complete sense of loss and sadness. What is most troubling is the recitation of your valiant efforts to keep alive the special connection you had only to be confronted with a growing and unexplained I-don't-care attitude.
Some time back you asked the question in your den of "What is love," and a number of us talked about it at length. And here we might ask the same question, "What is a friend?"
In my commentary on "Love," I suggested that persons in love do not fall out of love but, with the passage of time, fall more deeply in love. I think much of this is true with regard to "friends." You may well be right in commenting in your preface about making the mistake of calling the person a friend when, in fact--at least in their viewpoint--they are merely an acquaintance "whom we pass along life's way." I think it is tragic and sad and a terrible wound upon the heart to discover that your friend is not your friend at all but merely someone you met "along life's way."
Unrequited love is the subject of frequent dramatic compositions because it is such a powerful emotion. As you point out, "...it takes two." Losing a friend, I believe, lives in a parallel universe akin to the death of a loved one. For is it not true that we love our friends?
In losing your friend you have lost a part of yourself that can never be restored. That kind of pain is immeasurable. Time is a great healer of the consciousness of pain; but the memory of the loss of a friend will never leave you.
You have expressed for us a heartache of life and a painful memory that you will carry in your heart forever. I am so sorry, Jeanette.
Over the months you and I have exchanged many emails and thoughts and tidbits about our personal lives and, through this, have become somewhat more than mere acquaintances. My hope is that in time you will come to think of me as your friend, for I tell you in open light that I think of you as my friend.
Nature abhors a vacuum. In time, collectively, I and a few others who maintain a presence with you may help to lessen the pain of your great loss.
Your poem "To Lose A Friend" is a powerful, provocative work of art that touchs the very soul of everyone who has known the wonder of having a close and trusted friend. Thank you for sharing your pain of losing your friend. Perhaps in the sharing, you will be able to give away some of the hurt. My hope is that with the gathering of new friends, your emptiness inside will not be felt so deeply.
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with abusive narcissists, and the Narcissistic Personality Disorder, using a new vocabulary.
“Being a couple yet free is our next challenge on the evolutionary ladder. This book successfully helps us unravel the myths that block that achievement. It does it with warmth, with readability, and with balance. It recreates everyday problems and
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JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS
Kathy
I'm sorry to say that, i missed this when it first posted but,today it found me.
A very moving flowing write,you did a nice job all the way through to the last word,I have saved this one thanks.stan nassano
Blessings,
Joyce Bowling
Be safe,
Karen
This poem stirred my soul with sadness for your loss. To lose a friend whithout knowing the "why" is very traumatic. My heart goes out to you.
God Bless,
Hugs, Laura
You express your sorrow of losing your friend so eloquently, I felt your complete sense of loss and sadness. What is most troubling is the recitation of your valiant efforts to keep alive the special connection you had only to be confronted with a growing and unexplained I-don't-care attitude.
Some time back you asked the question in your den of "What is love," and a number of us talked about it at length. And here we might ask the same question, "What is a friend?"
In my commentary on "Love," I suggested that persons in love do not fall out of love but, with the passage of time, fall more deeply in love. I think much of this is true with regard to "friends." You may well be right in commenting in your preface about making the mistake of calling the person a friend when, in fact--at least in their viewpoint--they are merely an acquaintance "whom we pass along life's way." I think it is tragic and sad and a terrible wound upon the heart to discover that your friend is not your friend at all but merely someone you met "along life's way."
Unrequited love is the subject of frequent dramatic compositions because it is such a powerful emotion. As you point out, "...it takes two." Losing a friend, I believe, lives in a parallel universe akin to the death of a loved one. For is it not true that we love our friends?
In losing your friend you have lost a part of yourself that can never be restored. That kind of pain is immeasurable. Time is a great healer of the consciousness of pain; but the memory of the loss of a friend will never leave you.
You have expressed for us a heartache of life and a painful memory that you will carry in your heart forever. I am so sorry, Jeanette.
Over the months you and I have exchanged many emails and thoughts and tidbits about our personal lives and, through this, have become somewhat more than mere acquaintances. My hope is that in time you will come to think of me as your friend, for I tell you in open light that I think of you as my friend.
Nature abhors a vacuum. In time, collectively, I and a few others who maintain a presence with you may help to lessen the pain of your great loss.
Your poem "To Lose A Friend" is a powerful, provocative work of art that touchs the very soul of everyone who has known the wonder of having a close and trusted friend. Thank you for sharing your pain of losing your friend. Perhaps in the sharing, you will be able to give away some of the hurt. My hope is that with the gathering of new friends, your emptiness inside will not be felt so deeply.
Love to you.
Your friend,
Richard
An excellent, poignant write, effectively, beautifully penned.
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :(