Interesting ending which is quite unexpected in many ways... though why I can't quite put my finger on... maybe it's the suddeness of the movement and energy after all the "locked-in-ness". What my mind is MOST wanting to get around is the striking use of your word "sideration"... without the con-prefix: maybe it's because the subject's mind is somehow always trying to "get away" from the suffocation of the sideration, rather than be permanently annexed/affixed to it.
this verse is stunning and, for me, stands on its own:
Time to re-live the fall
from godlike eternity
to the second that makes him human,
not wanting to drown in a dream.
... mind-stretching stuff, as is all your works, Axilea. Thank you. xx
Sideration: n. The state of being siderated, or planet-struck; esp., blast in plants; also, a sudden and apparently causeless stroke of disease, as in apoplexy or paralysis.
As you can see, I had to look it up. That word "plants" in there totally threw me. And ultimately, I realized your poem was much MUCH better at defining the word.
New definition: 1. The onslaught of panic at the realization that you cannot control your own body and that it is no longer a safe harbor for your precious mind and soul.
2. The point of impact (emotional, spiritual, and physical) when two or more of your own worlds/lives collide.
The veil images in this piece are near-tangible; the heartbeats, near-audible; the panic, near-palpable. You make us unafraid of death--the mere emergence into a more gentle life. That second stanza states it very strongly.
Favorite phrases: "white saturation covered in black veils"
and "from godlike eternity to the second that makes him human"
Many elements here, Axilea, fused in intellect and feeling, the black 'n' white starkness, the realisation during and after seizure (and I speak from personal experience - loss of power in all four limbs for an hour) did I live at all and what did I miss?...but it's not just physical seizure is it, it's of the quality or lack of it in one's life.
You've delivered this with conviction.
John
Reviewed by Peter Schlosser (Reader)
Reviewed on April 16, 2010
Sounds like the spiritual awakening one experiences after "hitting bottom." Great poem.
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(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
this verse is stunning and, for me, stands on its own:
Time to re-live the fall
from godlike eternity
to the second that makes him human,
not wanting to drown in a dream.
... mind-stretching stuff, as is all your works, Axilea. Thank you. xx
Time to re-live the fall
from godlike eternity
to the second that makes him human,
not wanting to drown in a dream.
- David
Ron
fee
As you can see, I had to look it up. That word "plants" in there totally threw me. And ultimately, I realized your poem was much MUCH better at defining the word.
New definition: 1. The onslaught of panic at the realization that you cannot control your own body and that it is no longer a safe harbor for your precious mind and soul.
2. The point of impact (emotional, spiritual, and physical) when two or more of your own worlds/lives collide.
The veil images in this piece are near-tangible; the heartbeats, near-audible; the panic, near-palpable. You make us unafraid of death--the mere emergence into a more gentle life. That second stanza states it very strongly.
Favorite phrases: "white saturation covered in black veils"
and "from godlike eternity to the second that makes him human"
Me, dream-drowning. --Charlie
You've delivered this with conviction.
John
Regis