I've always considered myself to be
A humble human being,
But the truth is
I have also harbored
A deep well
Of self righteousness,
Pride,
And plain ole ugliness.
Not only would I tell myself
How modest I was,
I would also self-assure
That I was a warm, kind, fair-minded
Angel,
And that I was amazingly tolerant
Of those who are "different."

What a crock!

While I do possess
A sense of charity
And, sometimes,
Ridiculously extreme senses
Of honor and honesty,
The truth is
That beneath my soft heart
Are walls of cold, tempered steel.
I can sympathize
And empathize
And other "izes" on cue,
But I'm not sure how much of those
Are real
And how much
Are learned behaviors.
So even when my heart aches
For those who are hurt
And abused,
There's a part of my mind,
Deep within,
Always looking out
For my own interests,
Always asking,
"How can this be used
To my advantage?"
I hate that part of me!
But I learned a long time ago
That there are also aspects
Of character
That cannot be changed,
And I can only choose not
To act on them.
So those good facets
Of who I am
Are just that:
A part of
Who I am;
They just happen to have
Less philanthropic companions,
All of which
Make up who, and what,
Makes me, Me.
For you see,
I am a human being
With so many facets
Of so many colors
That the inside of my mind,
Heart,
And soul,
Must look like
Unopened bags
Of jelly beans.
I am both light and dark,
Yin and yang,
And with that
I am one
With creation.