Friends and rellos, gather 'round,
I'll tell you a tale for free.
'Tis short and sweet, but so profound,
As I'm sure you'll all agree.

The bride you see stands tall and proud,
Curvacious, comely, cool.
Others say she's brash and loud,
A jester and a jewel.

But hear me friends and rellos, too,
It wasn't always thus.
From a gangly, freckled girly grew
The Bride that stands before us.

Briana wished upon a star
At wishing wells and fountains
"Please let me have a purple car,
And TITS as big as mountains!"

The candles on each Birthday cake
Got blown out every year,
"I wish for a pair of roller skates,
And GAZOONGAS out to here!"

She found a four-leaf clover
So she shut her eyes real tight
And wished to herself, over and over
For big HOOTERS by tonight!

When Xmas came around each year
She'd sit on Santa's knee,
"What can Santa get you, dear?"
"Some CLEAVAGE!" was her plea.

As Briana plied her future trade
Putting hair in curls and ringlets,
She cursed the hand that nature played
When filling out her singlets.

But from the girl a woman grew,
And with it came ovulation,
At last! Briana's wish came true !
Thank heavens for lactation!

Those girlish dreams have faded now,
She is a bride today,
Her wishes have been traded
For a ride in a Chevrolet.

So now we see them, side by side
There is no looking back.
Danny has eyes for just his bride,
And her real bodacious rack!