interferon is the only FDA aproved treatment for stage 3 Melanoma,I was on Interferon from dec 13 2001 -sept 13,2002 it was hard,for me,there are many peope who are now presently going through the same treatment.
Ghost amongst the Living, Interferon Nightmare
it is quiet now peaceful solitude nightmare, now a memory of haunting my own home drifting about, room by room among the people I used to belong moving alone while starring out sunrise sunset makes no difference amongst the living dead an apparition of my former self I suppose empty rooms I shifted from never seen, never heard praying to be understood haunting my own house not alive or dead, in between somewhere else adrift aloof looking out a ghost amongst the living knowing there are worse things than being dead that the next day will be as bad to be so weak and tired put a bullet between the eyes
Then know that the cancer won to pantomime my emotions
Trapped inside this bell jar of crystal trembling with frustration a silent scream, never heard to love and feel only emptiness day by day week by week
A fading light
With each injection, daily of this life saving
Drug, interferon to keep the cancer at bay a poison curse or blessing a bleakness shared by many so, honey
When your said, you felt like you were disappearing I knew, exactly what you meant into the mist, into the mist the alien fog, all encompassing
To which I now can look away and watch it rise from down, below…Snassano 10/03/07
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Reviews of "Ghost amongst the Living, Interferon Nightmare"
Reviewed by blue soplain (Reader)
Reviewed on April 13, 2008
....mon dieu, this was hard read. ..emotionally and spiritually but also mentally for me:: i kept resculpting words as is my brain's tendency, and i didnt want to...i wanted to read this for each trembling ache [of yours] that was felt, i wanted it to be KNOWN, not just read. .and the knowing of this is so hard; reliving and breathing that green fog...the intrepid doubts. ..the nothingness, the barely there days and eternal nights....where people can be afraid to touch [not necessairly b/c they dont want to, but b/c they have this fear---of either catching or hurting] and yet you need them to make you real NOW [that plath bell jar reality so unreal];
ive always thought and said there has to be somekind of beauty in the breaking, and this just exemplifies that. .how you were made into something, some ONE, some soul beyond beautiful. ..
and i always thought you were strong , but again, thIS. ...[amazing.] the only part that bothers me [i'll be honest] is the line 'bullet between the eyes' and not b/c its bad or morbid or desperate or visceral, but b/c it actually BOTHERS me:: i actually said NO out loud while reading. ..so that part i am gonna voodoo.ize so that it doesnt scare me so much and make it say 'bullet be tween the.e yes'..that way the danger goes sailing right past two souls. ..
you know how i relate; no need to reiterate.
yet there are so many powerful prayerful pleaful lines in here. ..and so many harsh fearful damning ones as well. ..
this is just fierce.
im amazed again.
> <
flo\/\/er of the (V)o()N
A touching write, written with such great inspiration and talent my friend! Powerful indeed, an interesting approach that I think all those whom have suffered with grief, pain, illness, and tragedy can relate to. Outstanding offering my friend, bravo!
Blessings,
Joyce B.
Oh my Stan! You have me trembling with grief for such an experience. I have chronic pain and must stay on morphine typr drugs, and have been on different meds to try for cure or relief and know exactly the feeling you describe. I could never put it into words. What a splendid poem for such a heat wrenching subject! Bravo !
My prayers are with you!
I can't begin to say I understand this living nightmare because I don't.
I do what it's like to have lived with my children who each had a terminal illness. They're gone and in a better place, but the house still reminds me of their presence.
With all my heart I hope this is fiction, but the words are too real. If they are real, know that I'll keep you in my prayers.
God bless you and give you strength.
Kathy
Reviewed by chris stienstra (Reader)
Reviewed on October 3, 2007
Stan,
Your words are graphic and filled with reality of this journey. n"Ptaying to be understood...", a line that repeats itself each minute of this entrapment within this living curse. The freedom of the spirit the only part it does not devour. These are pwoerful words. Faith is the belief that the end of the physical will be the begining of the eternal.
My very best this day
Chris
Re-Release! No longer back-listed. Return to the Olde Ways. The hustle and bustle of modern day life has brought many of us to a quick fix attitude.This book is for those of you who are fed up; have looked at your life and your loved ones and realize
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ive always thought and said there has to be somekind of beauty in the breaking, and this just exemplifies that. .how you were made into something, some ONE, some soul beyond beautiful. ..
and i always thought you were strong , but again, thIS. ...[amazing.] the only part that bothers me [i'll be honest] is the line 'bullet between the eyes' and not b/c its bad or morbid or desperate or visceral, but b/c it actually BOTHERS me:: i actually said NO out loud while reading. ..so that part i am gonna voodoo.ize so that it doesnt scare me so much and make it say 'bullet be tween the.e yes'..that way the danger goes sailing right past two souls. ..
you know how i relate; no need to reiterate.
yet there are so many powerful prayerful pleaful lines in here. ..and so many harsh fearful damning ones as well. ..
this is just fierce.
im amazed again.
> <
flo\/\/er of the (V)o()N
Myrna
Blessings,
Joyce B.
not dead or living...somewhere in between.
I know i can relate to this in some form or another...We all can Brother.
Walt
My prayers are with you!
ET
frustration
a silent scream, never heard
to love and feel only emptiness
day by day week by week
excellent lines ...
I do what it's like to have lived with my children who each had a terminal illness. They're gone and in a better place, but the house still reminds me of their presence.
With all my heart I hope this is fiction, but the words are too real. If they are real, know that I'll keep you in my prayers.
God bless you and give you strength.
Kathy
Your words are graphic and filled with reality of this journey. n"Ptaying to be understood...", a line that repeats itself each minute of this entrapment within this living curse. The freedom of the spirit the only part it does not devour. These are pwoerful words. Faith is the belief that the end of the physical will be the begining of the eternal.
My very best this day
Chris