Sanctuary

I planned this sanctuary
to guard me emotionally
and yet I needed love

I looked upon the bright sun
blinded I found the silence
nothing for a lost soul

what would the pleading do?
what good could become
of this whining beggar?

My eyes adjusted to the light
and what should appear
but the rest of my life

Is there any rest for this searcher?

Is there anything to be found?

Had I possibly gotten away with it?
bluffed myself out of my blunder?

I looked upon the stars blinking
stunned by the constant thinking
nobody there to console me

what would become of me
in this constant sterile sanctuary?
nothing for a crazy mind

to grasp a hold of
to slip into

just this sarcastic view
just this bitterness
that I had to chew

Is there any sweetness?

Is there any peace?

Why was I such a skeptic?
did I think I saw the truth?

I couldn’t see I was blind
without a point of view
I was alone

I cried out for love
and no one answered me
but the bitter silence

my sanctuary had become a prison

Copyright © CJ Clark