Howdy Folks, this here is Morgana Dove, I lives a daily Soap Opree and this here is the first installment of my sufferin, thar's more to come

My name be Morgana Dove, I lives a Soap Opree life, As The Toilet Flushes,
I be a victim of life, indurin hot flashes and hornymoan rushes.
I trys to hold on to reality and jest maintain,
But my kin and friends have dun drivin me insane!
I lives with Grandma Edie, she be loony as a bat,
She put her dad burn dentures in the dishwasher and microwaved the cat.
My Uncle Floyd took a trip to Helsinki,
He come back as Ant Susie, minus hisn twinkie.
Grandpa Joe uses talk that would make a sailor blush,
He demands somebody to check-out hisn dung, afore Ya can flush.
As I look, I mubble,"One hard, two soft and one of green hue",
Then I gives him an ovation fur most creative poo!
My Bro Alfred likes panties and steals the neighbor's underware,
He wears them on hisen head, not givin a care.
My spouce, George is a travelin peddler, who wants sex on the phone,
Whilest I yawn, chew gum, I can do a fake organismic moan.
I have a Handyman, Jack, that be mighty handy with hisn tool,
He keeps me a grinnin and even cleans the pool.
I'm fixen to get a visit from my Sis Judy,
Hern tube tops dun had a blowout and hern shorts shows hern booty.
She be a down-home kinda Gal, makes hern own Shine,
It be a 1000 proof, its dun pickled hern mind.
Woe is me, I live among weirdos, nuts and lushes,
That be the case, As The Toilet Flushes!
YA'LL Come Back Now, Ya hear.

Music: Rocky Top