This poem is for my brother who died five years ago of apparent suicide. A yellowed birthday card brings memories of him and moves me to write.
(Note: Police autopsy revealed it was not suicide as the rope marks were on his shoulders and below his neck. My Dad suspected foul play and it's an open case in Australia.)
FRANKIE
by Cynthia B. Baello
July 1, 2008
You never came to say goodbye,
And until now I don't know why
You chose to end your life that way;
There are no answers to this day.
News of your death was hard to take,
So numbed with grief I lay awake.
Too far from you to even view
Your casket and to bid "adieu".
For you dear brother, my close friend-
Regrets have plagued my heart since then.
Should have been there, I should have called.
When Daddy wrote, your heartaches told.
You felt alone, life hard to bear,
The love you needed was not there.
You must have thought we did not care,
Your hopes were crushed, all was unfair.
Yet now remembering I see
The battles that you fought, Frankie
Yes in my heart you are not far,
I know you're happy where you are.
I have your memories so dear
Your smile, your jokes that brought me cheer,
The yellowed birthday card you sent,
Bring thoughts of you...now heaven sent.
"For I am convinced that neither
death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither present nor future, nor any powers....nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ
Jesus."
ROMANS 8: 38-39
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Reviews of "Frankie"
Reviewed by David Shosho (Reader)
Reviewed on September 30, 2015
For me it's a very sad poem because i knew Frank as a friend and colleague for several years back in the mid 90s. We worked together, had lunch together, played a lot of chess socially and competitively. He also invited me to his home couple of times and i met his family and also some relatives and church members. When i first learned or read of his death online, i was shocked because we had many happy memories together. He had a strong confident personality back in those days, not afraid to share his beliefs in Jesus to anyone. God rest your soul my dear friend, will always remember you with those happy times we had together.
A powerful and moving write, Cynthia. I can relate very much to what you express here because my mom chose to leave in the same manner. Love and best wishes to you,
Dear Cynthia, tears have filled my heart for you and your family will forever search the untold reasons why frankie had decided to take his life. You dear one can not hold yourself responsible for your brothers decision. Know that yes he is much happier now than he was at that time and continue to live your life with the fond memories you hold in your heart. thank you for sharing.
Cynthia - This is very well written. But, it was written by you as atonement for what you perceive as guilt for not being there for him. Please read what you can find about why some of us take our own lives. It is seldom the fault of another person, no matter how close. Suicide is a waste, but even the psychologists have problems explaining why a human being no longer wants to live.
My sympathy is extended, but please go on with your life... for those who love you, and you, them.
My deep sorrow is for you.
New Friend, - Bill
My dearest Cynthia, I'm in tears.
What a tender, understanding, loving heart you share with us!
It has been said that one who departs by their own hand brings death with equal certainly to the loving survivors. From what I have seen of life, it is true.
Once again I am reminded of the words of the great Kahlil Gibran in 1924:
"And ever has it been that love knows not its
own depth until the hour of separation."
My dear Cynthia, I know how you still grieve for your beloved Frankie. I can only tell you what you know: Your brother will always be with you in your heart and later in the heart of God.
But, now, you have a new and wonderful life coming into view. I pray that you will be able to focus your loving attention on what is left for you to fulfill here on earth. God has a plan for you. Be trusting and open to receive God's will as it is made known.
I know it must be hard for you to write this poem,but I am glad you did.You are indeed a strong woman and I know you miss him every single day of your life.This is one of the most emotional poems I've ever read.Thank you for sharing it.God bless you
This is one of the most heartfelt poems I have ever read. It brought tears to my eyes and a lump in my throat. I could feel the pain and anguish you have been experiencing. What a beautiful tribute to a brother who only thought he wasn't loved. May the Lord hold you in the palm of His hand and give you peace, my dear sister in Christ.
Kathryn Neff Perry
I don't think anyone can write a poem such as this unless they have experienced a loved one taking his own life.
There seems always to be the soul-searching and condemning ourselves for not being there. Try to realize that you could not know how bad your brother felt, nor how he would choose to deal with his problems. And lean on your heavenly Father, Who understands your loss.
I know you'll always treasure that card and the good memories it brings, and I'm so glad you have it.
Blessings,
Connie
I had to fight the tears from rolling down my face when I read
this. I really love this poem. You are a very talented poet.
Although this is very sad, moods at their extreme, is what brings
the best out of some poets, and this poem is a prime example.
Well done Cynthia !!!
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It's almost Christmas. Lynn Basil is writing her last book about a secret entrance into the magical doll land of Sha Bebe that she loves so much. Bagannos have taken over the world! Lynn finally meets her dolls in real life. Can she write in a Secret
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Steve
A beautiful ode to your brother who you clearly adore--Frankie will always be close to you.
Your good friend, Stuart
Love,
Dawn
Regis
Newfie hugs, Rose
Cynthia - This is very well written. But, it was written by you as atonement for what you perceive as guilt for not being there for him. Please read what you can find about why some of us take our own lives. It is seldom the fault of another person, no matter how close. Suicide is a waste, but even the psychologists have problems explaining why a human being no longer wants to live.
My sympathy is extended, but please go on with your life... for those who love you, and you, them.
My deep sorrow is for you.
New Friend, - Bill
What a tender, understanding, loving heart you share with us!
It has been said that one who departs by their own hand brings death with equal certainly to the loving survivors. From what I have seen of life, it is true.
Once again I am reminded of the words of the great Kahlil Gibran in 1924:
"And ever has it been that love knows not its
own depth until the hour of separation."
My dear Cynthia, I know how you still grieve for your beloved Frankie. I can only tell you what you know: Your brother will always be with you in your heart and later in the heart of God.
But, now, you have a new and wonderful life coming into view. I pray that you will be able to focus your loving attention on what is left for you to fulfill here on earth. God has a plan for you. Be trusting and open to receive God's will as it is made known.
Love,
Richard
Be always safe,
Karen
Edwin
Kathryn Neff Perry
There seems always to be the soul-searching and condemning ourselves for not being there. Try to realize that you could not know how bad your brother felt, nor how he would choose to deal with his problems. And lean on your heavenly Father, Who understands your loss.
I know you'll always treasure that card and the good memories it brings, and I'm so glad you have it.
Blessings,
Connie
this. I really love this poem. You are a very talented poet.
Although this is very sad, moods at their extreme, is what brings
the best out of some poets, and this poem is a prime example.
Well done Cynthia !!!
Harold M. Nash