“Patty cake, patty cake, baker’s man,
  bake me a cake as fast as you can…”

Our voices fade to an echo trapped
inside my soul. My heartbeat runs wild
and I see myself running with you
toward the monkey swing on the “best tree”
where we used to sit and dream of now.

You were supposed to be here, meet me
when the silly growing up was done.
I have looked for you everywhere but
I cannot find you or my future
that becomes more distant by the day.

We were five, I know. It was child’s play;
why can’t I understand? Patty cake,
patty cake… running fast as I can
to find you. Where are you, baker’s man?
Please get to me as fast as you can.
     You were supposed to be here.

  “Reunited – and it feels so good.
  Reunited ‘cause it’s understood.”

We are all singing by a wave pool
under Cimmerian sky about
that one perfect thing – togetherness.
And if you couldn’t believe Peaches
and Herb, then who? We all believed then:

somebody for everybody. A
matter of time. Just you wait and see.
Crazy, crazy love. Time – it keeps on
tickin’, too much of it on my hands,
thinking about pre-teen promises.

American Top 40 countdown
song that predicted you would leave me
just when I need you most. I’m all
by myself; don’t want to be all by
myself, anymore. Baby, come back.
     You were supposed to be here.

  “Too far apart, too long away. I
  couldn’t wait another day for the
  captain of my heart.”

College daze and then I married him,
my soul feeling a million years old,
tired and weary of searching for you.
He did what he wanted with me, and
I let him, losing huge parts of me.

And then, without a warning, your voice
on a phone. And then you in the flesh
with a ring on your finger, a child,
another on the way. So I sealed
the vault of hope, soul desire in me.

I never realized that you had
commandeered my heart – or maybe you
had always been its captain. Adrift
on true love’s open sea, I became
hopelessly lost, so very alone.
     You were supposed to be here.

  “When you wish upon a star, makes no
  difference who you are,” I say to him.

I smile at this extraordinary
gift of God to me – a son who loves
more easily than anyone I’ve
ever seen. I sing the song and share
the hope faithfully, consistently.

Day turns to night; he is older now.
He stands before me, that bright twinkle
vanished from his eye. He wants to know
why, why, why people can be so cruel,
demands to know why God of heaven’s

stars keeps raining fire on my life.
I tell him not to worry, say we
both are fine, that the stars are shining
on us and we’ll be warm tonight. But
he is wise, knows this life is not fair.
     You were supposed to be here.