the sound of heat
cracks
like fire in July
upon an old wooden fence
and a boy of four standing
daydreams
through a missing whorl
passing time.
while parents
of this only child
remain
inside a house
lost
before a marathon
of Twilight Zones
something misplaced
could not be more
black and white.
music unseen
yet heard marching
a red white
and blue parade
waving
echoes through little fingers
placed upon pine
while memories
of different light
begin to shade
the sun of day.
eyes closed
one small child
pretends
he might find himself
in fields magnetic
drawing in
to art
realism of bandstand banners
and a man
in a park upon stilts
tickling everyone’s attention
to cry uncle
while softened
ice cream sandwiches melt
and hot dogs
become the thieves
of flowers scented.
wishing
to believe
that sparks of all colors
born on earth
are launched
to become the only brilliance
of enlightened stars in heaven.
and imagining
as one hand
holds his Father’s
that he turn
and with his other
pick up a small flag
upon the ground
heading home
in the freedom of darkness
with sparkle in his eyes
to paint dreams
now awake in his heart
with a new coat of warmth
to something still standing
knowing everything
from hence going forth
would never mean as much
as this moment.
John I feel like an ole memory lost in time while reading "absent", then I feel like a lonely child making wishes for love of family...this is a wonderful story poem, like memories speaking into the soul...
seeking...unending...harmed, yet hopeful....alone, yet seen....
Peace, Love & Poetry
Embraced~Embrassé
Vickie
I couldn't help but remember the parade in "The Music Man" ... the pride that we feel and the joy. You have taken me to a moment in my youth where life's expectancy was filled with hope. I still cling to that hope, yet it is now skewed with reality that there is no magic wand to make everything 'right.'
Another piquant and evocative write, John. In the midst of such public and communal celebration of liberation and hope, this touches my heart with a sadness for a tiny boy who has emotional awareness way beyond his own years, if I have read this right. Forgive me if my view is skewed, being English apart from anything else! But this so taps into my own childhood pains of living where all is perhaps not so light and easy-going, in ways that you etch for us masterfully here. An eye/hand pressed to a chink in the fence says it all... a little voyeur on the street-party of life, having a wizened understanding that there is more than hotdogs and icecream that is being missed out on here. The very complex thinking of a desire for enlightenment, lightness and liberation to come into his own household, to bring joy to emotionally ailing (perhaps) parents. The typical selflessness of the child, who cares more for the well-being of the parent, notwithstanding his own needs for youthful enjoyment. And, perhaps most especially... the creation of massive imaginary landscapes as a world within a world into which to escape. I have waxed lyrical... and again I apologise if I have put my own personal interpretative gloss on this beautiful cameo. But you have touched chords here, and I wish I could sensitively, delicately address such issues in so suggestive and delicate ways as you do here - rather than head-on! Little children have many epiphanic instants... and so often wish them onto the adults in their world who have long since forgotten what they might be! :)) I hope I haven't outstayed my welcome here. But again, much applause for a revelatory write. Kate xx
I really like this poem "absent"! a child's imagination is a magical and wonderful thing! its a real shame the parents were wasting time watching twilight zone instead of spending time with their son!! time goes so quickly and I like the way you put the imagination of the child in play with the bursting of fireworks and the natural surroundings of nature the sky, the earth and looking at the world through the child's eyes...you sure do know a child's heart!!
What an amazing way to describe the 4th of July celebrations! from a little child eyes that stands bordering the street where that marathon of Twilight Zones would go by, where he was lose the scents of flowers that were stolen by those of hotdogs and cotton-candy.
Masterly you make him to go away wearing a coat of warmth and sparkling eyes.
More than excellent.
What can I say that hasn't already been said.
John, this is REAL good.
I really like your fifth stanza "wishing . . .to believe . . . . ."
It restores my faith.
Doug
John,, I really don't have the words,,,my tears fall as I read this over and over again,,,,,Freedom through a childs eyes... Touchingly BEAUTIFUL!
Love and Blessings,
Christine
Wow!
I recall my feelings as a child, watching my brothers march at Valley Forge...the flags, the uniforms, in the unison of the soldiers steps, I found out what it was to be proud, to be an American!
I placed my hand over my heart, not out of mere habit, no, not that day... but because I was overwhelmed with respect for how much they withstood, and why! A face of duty and discipline embeds in the child of flit and circumstance...enlightening some taste of expectancy to lay down your life for your country, if you had to!
Wow! AGAIN!...this "absent" brought me back to a place, I had yet to grasp like this! Perhaps I too have been "absent" lately, this poem can fill so many other places and circumstance in life, one's we shouldn't dare miss!
Outastanding poem, John...Another...WOW!!!!!!!
Love and Peace~
Kimmy~
you blend the fever of youth with the nostalgia of age....and this trickles slowly in the waning twilight... only to be illuminated... so brilliantly...so gently and wildly backdropped with life. ..
heart.tugging write.
ness
Reviewed by Gerard Gauthier (Reader)
Reviewed on July 6, 2008
John I love how this poem is told through the wide spread fingers of a four year old...how his hope and imagination fills in the missing parts of life...Great read John
Reviewed by ~ Holly Harbridge (Reader)
Reviewed on July 6, 2008
Such a deep emotional write John....I'm with Chanti, it's not hard to see why you are becoming so popular here at the den. Splendid work! Love Holly
John, I love how you've written this, through the eyes of a child. Your writing always stirs your readers emotions with it's imagery and the way that you are able to use words.
"while softened ice cream sandwiches melt and hot dogs become the thieves of flowers scented,"...my favorite lines.
SO evocative. . .beautifully conceived and beautifully written.
Thank you for sharing this, John. I am sure that, like me, others will come back and read the poem again. . .and again. . .'Pea' <3
That little boy with stars in his eyes, only he could feel the star within him rise and you took me there on that fourth day in the month of July with your splendiferous piece of poetry...I absolutely enjoyed and love this....Welcome back!
To me, there was melancholy wistfulness spoken in these lines...mixed within a story of a boy wishing he were at the celebration of freedom that you so vividly described. Either way, with your usual perfection you have pulled off a heart-felt poem that drew me in and helped me see through your eyes.
Superb!
Cryssa :~)
It's amazing how you keep producing a new opus in your well-defined style, time after time. You certainly have crafted a unique voice, AND you're the memory man! Nothing better than seeing & feeling July 4th through the eyes of a child's memory in a world now gone. You bring memories to LIFE...Makes me miss my 60's childhood beach days.
Later, michael
You've fast become one of the most popular poets on the den and it's easy to see why. You have a unique style that doesn't employ the usual techniques in order to deliver a great message. However, your words are effective and your imagery is fantastic. I do have one suggestion (and forgive the editor in me) and that is to add an apostrophe to the word "flower's" since it seems to have been used in the possessive sense. Great line by the way.
This is the first review I've posted in a while but the poem inspired it. It's nice to have you back and I hope we read more of yours. :-)
Truely captivating John. The poem captures special moments, feelings, andplaces. The images are soft , yet intriguing. Its a great patriotic poem.....M
Hope you had a nice Independance Day !
The spirit of July Fourth was captured for me with the rendering your poem provided on the blank canvas in my mind. A young lad's perspectives etched with the indelible ink of pride and compassion. A most remarkable sensory event. Bravo! For the youth of today in America. The symbolism provided by tributes such as Fourth of July parades form a bond with our nation and the citizens that is a priceless lesson in national pride. We need to revive that esprit de corps in young America. May peace be always with you. JMW
First of all, welcome home - you were absent, I missed you!
Secondly, what a write - all of the senses are stimulated and come into play - much depth of feeling here - remembering the true reason behind Independence Day as well as the fun traditions - excellent.
What a wonderful write on this most patriotic of all days. The innocence of childhood will one day fade, and the reality of adulthood will set in. So much imagery of independence, with sounds of the day, smells to remind us of our freedom, colors bursting before us, and pleasant tastes to let us know that all is well in our world. All that you say causes me to dream, rest, and then dream some more. 'Tis such pleasing thoughts you pass my way on this day of celebration and thanksgiving for the country in which I reside. I will not soon forget the lessons you teach. May God be with you on this glorious day. And, may He forever bless the United States of America!
A wonderful poem that sweeps us along to that beautiful last stanza.
You've written a poem that should be posted everywhere on every 4th.
Thanks for sharing, John. -gene.
wide-eyed-wonder at the sound-popping, sense-opening feel of celebration...and what better cause to celebrate than independence? I remember the day my eyes/heart were opened wide to the flag--to home and country and patriotism. It is magic, that feeling. You capture it well, from a boy's eyes. --Charlie
A touching poem, as it may be a reflection of someone's special past childhood memories, or an imagination of a child wishing it was a present memory. Where family values seemed important. Elegant writing style creates feelings to come alive in the reader. :)
John, my erudite friend, your words are the freshness of a Fabulous Fourth; words ttat have almost vanished from our cities and towns. It is so reassuring and warm to read your view of things held close and dear. Thank you for rediscovering our Fourth of July in our hearts. We are indebted and glad of your talent and friendship. - Patriotically, Bill
Reviewed by Ingeborg von Finsterwalde (Reader)
Reviewed on July 4, 2008
That is what the Fourth of July is all about. Remembering that we live in the greatest country. Fun, hot dogs, firecrackers, ice cream and memories of watching the sky at darkness exploding into all colors of the rainbow. It was fun to read your version, very well done John. It is good to have you back. Happy Fourth of July!
How wonderful it is to see your words again! It doesn't happen often enough but I know we all write as we must or as we will.. so anytime it happens I am so pleased. I think most of us will see ourselves in this piece.. but not all of us could express it as well as you, my friend...
Well done!
Always, Myrna
Man, you painted a word picture of this little tow-headed kid back in Arkansas big time . . . Fantastic visuals and just generally great inside from the get-go . . . The only thing the poem failed to do for me was give me that insight at the end that nothing would mean as much as it did then . . . Of course I see it NOW . . .Great job John . . .
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-=ra=-
seeking...unending...harmed, yet hopeful....alone, yet seen....
Peace, Love & Poetry
Embraced~Embrassé
Vickie
God bless you. Kathy
I haven't been around to read and post review
but now I am trying to catch up
Peace be with you
William
very very well done!! bravo John!!!
Masterly you make him to go away wearing a coat of warmth and sparkling eyes.
More than excellent.
Georg
Blessings,
Joyce B.
John, this is REAL good.
I really like your fifth stanza "wishing . . .to believe . . . . ."
It restores my faith.
Doug
Love and Blessings,
Christine
I recall my feelings as a child, watching my brothers march at Valley Forge...the flags, the uniforms, in the unison of the soldiers steps, I found out what it was to be proud, to be an American!
I placed my hand over my heart, not out of mere habit, no, not that day... but because I was overwhelmed with respect for how much they withstood, and why! A face of duty and discipline embeds in the child of flit and circumstance...enlightening some taste of expectancy to lay down your life for your country, if you had to!
Wow! AGAIN!...this "absent" brought me back to a place, I had yet to grasp like this! Perhaps I too have been "absent" lately, this poem can fill so many other places and circumstance in life, one's we shouldn't dare miss!
Outastanding poem, John...Another...WOW!!!!!!!
Love and Peace~
Kimmy~
Thank you for sharing these sentiments many blessings to you and take good care.
Sincerely,
~Gwendolyn
Thank you for sharing!!
love Tinka
heart.tugging write.
ness
"while softened ice cream sandwiches melt and hot dogs become the thieves of flowers scented,"...my favorite lines.
Thank you for sharing this, John. I am sure that, like me, others will come back and read the poem again. . .and again. . .'Pea' <3
Regis
Superb!
Cryssa :~)
Later, michael
This is the first review I've posted in a while but the poem inspired it. It's nice to have you back and I hope we read more of yours. :-)
Chanti
Hope you had a nice Independance Day !
First of all, welcome home - you were absent, I missed you!
Secondly, what a write - all of the senses are stimulated and come into play - much depth of feeling here - remembering the true reason behind Independence Day as well as the fun traditions - excellent.
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
What a wonderful write on this most patriotic of all days. The innocence of childhood will one day fade, and the reality of adulthood will set in. So much imagery of independence, with sounds of the day, smells to remind us of our freedom, colors bursting before us, and pleasant tastes to let us know that all is well in our world. All that you say causes me to dream, rest, and then dream some more. 'Tis such pleasing thoughts you pass my way on this day of celebration and thanksgiving for the country in which I reside. I will not soon forget the lessons you teach. May God be with you on this glorious day. And, may He forever bless the United States of America!
David Lee Thompson
You've written a poem that should be posted everywhere on every 4th.
Thanks for sharing, John. -gene.
Harold M. Nash
John
John, my erudite friend, your words are the freshness of a Fabulous Fourth; words ttat have almost vanished from our cities and towns. It is so reassuring and warm to read your view of things held close and dear. Thank you for rediscovering our Fourth of July in our hearts. We are indebted and glad of your talent and friendship. - Patriotically, Bill
Ingeborg
Newfie hugs, Rose
Well done!
Always, Myrna