The truth about addiction and recovery

‘bout a year ago a book came out, written by a recovering addict, he claimed.
His 30 days in a treatment center is what he purportedly explained.
Now I’m not going to mention the author’s name, ‘cuz I’m not giving him any props,
What I am going to do is give you MY opinion, and I’m pulling out all the stops

See, someone loaned me his book and she asked me to read it.
But after a few pages, I knew how to treat it.
Bullshit and lies. This could not be a truthful account.
Remembering your first 30 days clean, word for word, not by any amount.

Ask someone who’s been there, ask someone who knows.
This is the way your first 30 days goes.
You’re dope sick, you’re detoxing, your body’s taking a licking.
You ain’t got nothing on your mind but the drugs you are kicking.

Addicts are not unique; yes our stories do vary.
Yet there are certain truths, if I don’t hear, make me wary.
Take day one. Day one I’m still on drugs.
My body is full of them; all I remember is the hugs.

Day two you told me to keep coming back.
You told me if I did, I wouldn’t have to smoke no more crack.
I’m sure there are many other things you said,
But I was still full of drugs, they didn’t stay in my head.

Day three I was kicking, I sat rocking and crying.
My body was screaming, I thought I was dying.
I spent hours and hours going from meeting to meeting.
‘Don’t pick up’ was all I remembered besides the loving greeting..

That and of course, ‘Keep Coming Back’,
And for days four and five, I didn’t have to smoke no more crack.
Slowly, very slowly, I began to get a little clarity,
But putting more than 2 sentences together was still a rarity.

So my feeling is this, if his first five days he wrote is a lie,
Then so is the rest of it, and this is one book I won’t buy.
But it’s more than just giving money to a liar and a cheat.
It’s about carrying a deadly message to the dope fiend in the street.

See I always considered myself independent and strong.
Figured if I had to ask for help, then something with me was wrong.
But by the Grace of God and NA I made this discovery,
That asking for help, put me on the road to recovery.

See, I was headed for death, I was standing in the doorway.
I couldn’t smoke no more dope, not even for one more day.
It stopped working. It stopped covering the pain.
For me to keep on smoking was truly insane.

But staying stopped was impossible. I didn’t think that I could.
To ‘just say no’ didn’t work, though I wished that it would.
You see the dope had served a purpose. It had helped me to survive.
All these painful experiences I was trying to bury deep inside.

Of course if you’d told me that that was why I was using,
I’d have told you ‘you’re crazy I just enjoyed cruising,
The party scene, the nightlife, the drama of the streets.
I’m a product of the hard life who likes to enjoy her treats.’

Yeah, that’s what I would’ve said to you, and that’s what I did believe,
Had to pretend to be tough as nails, couldn’t wear my heart on my sleeve.
Hell, couldn’t be honest with my own self, my denial was so very thick.
Thought getting open and honest with you might turn me into your trick.

So it was hard in the beginning to listen to what you said.
But I knew if I didn’t, I would most surely be dead.
You said this was a WE thing; that I couldn’t do it alone.
That you understood my pain, that you understood my groan.

You said ninety meetings in ninety days would inside me build a recovery history.
And if I didn’t feel better after that time, you would refund to me my misery.
And I discovered that this is a WE thing, that I wasn’t meant to do it alone.
That you understood my pain, that you understood my groan.

I’d already tried medicine, religion and psychiatry.
Not one of those things had helped me to stay dope free.
And of course I’d tried many times to do it alone.
That almost got me buried underneath a grey stone.

My sister, Valarie, thought she could do this alone, and go figure.
She ended up taking a gun to her head and firmly pulling the trigger.
Now along comes this man making bou cou money,
Claiming ten years clean and a life that’s sunny.

Saying he’s been doing this by himself without help from anyone.
Saying he didn’t need an anonymous program in order to stay done.
Now maybe one in 10,000 can do it that way,
But what of the other 9,000 who will use again today?

Because of this man’s message, which is now proven a lie,
How many more dope fiends today will die?
How many of us will say, ‘if he can do it alone so can I?’
How many more funerals must I go to and ask ‘Why?’

Take this man’s book and shove it up his …. You know
Come, recover with me, my sister, my bro.