I want him. Him only. I yearn for his love.
I crave for his pampering.
I long for his smothering.
I want his company. I want his concern.
I want his 40 years' togetherness.
More and more... for many births to come.
I can't bear this loneliness and his absence
I can neither live nor dare to die.

A strong feeling deep inside
to run off to a far away place
and seek for myself, a hide
to weep with all the agony uninterrupted
to cry with all my strength,
to lighten my heart
no...no... to melt the mountain of
sadness in the heart.

Come to me Once, Dear,
in the last stage and in life's twilight
resting in each others lap
singing lullaby to others nap
sitting in the darkness of the
indifference of our children
seeking comfort with the silly words, we spoke
thinking of a long life ahead, a blind hope

How can you go forgetting all the thougths,
unfulfilling all the promises?
How did you select the final abode,
without saying even a word?
How can you go without final farewell?
How did you vanish within seconds?

I know, you, who left me,
who diffused as air in the air,
present in the breezes that touch.
Illusioned that every tear that drops,
wets you, idolise you before me,
I squeeze the water out of my body as tears,
for you, and for "your me".
I am searching every nook and corner
in this vast universe
weeping,thriving with the hope
that you can come and stand before me
by listening my pain in vain.

I look around desperately after cremation
at many existing things in this enormous creation
Sun and Moon, Stars, Asteroids, Meteors.
But to my dismay, you never appear.
Oh! Dear! Please appear. Come near.
I feel as shallowed
with the vanishing of your shadow.
Comfort me from this conflagration
that is burning my body and soul
who else, can console?

The Shehnai tunes of the 60th anniversary lyrics
which we whispered are still echoing the melody.
My feet do not stand at one place.
My heart doesn't have any peace.
I look for you with thousand eyes
that you come to me,moved by my panic cries.
Alas! you have no way to me!!
In this big world, Where to find you?
How to get you?
Does this search ever fructify?

In this blackness of the lonely night
I look for you, with all my sight
In this deadly darkness,
Dear! Appear to me as Divine Glow!
In the silent sky, I alert my ears,
I could even listen my heartbeat
which wishes to dance
with the rhythm of your feet.

How much you torment me!
How much you depress me!
How long should I suffer this torture!
How long should I continue this search in future!
burning in the flames of your memoirs,
whirling in the fumes of your love, How long?
Till the end of my life!!
or for the cycle of re-births!!
Atleast, whisper for your wife's mirth!

This is a translation of a telugu poem written by Smt. Padmavathi, who is a retired teacher. Her husband died 6 months back and she penned her emotions. This poem is a true translation of her grief. When she is reading the poem, unknowingly heart weightened and tears flowed.
I request you all to let me know how do you feel on reading this poem, so that I can understand that how far I succeeded in my translation