I've tried over the years to understand...
why..... what happen?
how did i hurt you so?
why did you just let go?

Sometimes i felt so alone empty inside
I was crying out for help....yet
destroying the love that was felt

Unconsciously pushing all of you away
not realizing the things I say
wasn't only hurting me but everybody.........

So i wished to be gone from all of yall
thinking it'll make me strong
......so time goes by and i try and hide the pain
of taking care of myself
of taking care of the life i dealt
of gliding and sliding....into out of better days

So now i'm grown...still all alone...but not
I still have that gap from being pushed off your lap
but it's understood the things I did wasn't good....
so I had to walk early
we all have to leave the nest one day....me leaping
I swayed
........cause i was flying on one wing

I knew i could do it...put everyone to shame
prove to everyone i knew how to play the game
and come out with flying colors......
not afraid of the big bad wolves that would take
me under the covers one after another
or the gypies with the knives to my back
or the owls that would just lie about things like that

didn't know about the days of old
didn't listen to the stories that was told
didn't think it would happen to me
how could it i was free
to walk on the wild side
to put my life on the line
but who were my friends and who were my foes
me running to let go of all i know

to forget my past,,,how long would i last
trying to escape from myself
trying to run not wanting help
knew i could do it never even flown
jumped in the air...opening myself up for new things
only then realizing that i was
............flying on one wing

bumped and bruised
sometimes i still don't know what to do
and now i have faith...and went back over my baby steps
with the past in my mind
in the night i now know what i'll find
with or without eyes
i know where my strength lies
not afraid to cry
understanding you never truly said goodbye
and love and family is a beautiful thing
...now that i'm not flying on one wing

this is the title poem of a book i've been working on soon to be my first self-publised book about a young girl getting thrown onto the fast track of ghetto life....