The first time you took no notice

The second time you laughed

The third time -- the charm -- you

Walked the other way, embarrassed

Never did you deign to help me up

The fourth time I fell it was

That time you pushed me

On purpose and hard

With malice aforethought

Knowing I might not survive

But doing it anyway

(Oddly I had been pushed back

So many times, I barely

Felt it as more than a nudge

And not all at once

Not all in one sharp breath

The premeditated thing it was)

That time I fell into the void

For nine years and two months

Angry, arms and legs flailing,

In horror-movie slow-motion

Fearing the dull thud of landing

But fearing more a fall lasting forever

Newsflash: I've fallen a fifth time

I've fallen away from you

I've fallen into eyes so dark, so

Glittering, their mystery holds all

The answers, and their light

Has blinded me awake.

And hey, listen ...

I'm staying down here this time.