A Man on a Hog and other tales…

I once saw a hog on a hog,

Who seemed to come out of the fog;

He wore high leather boots,

And was in cahoots,

With a gang of riders from the bog.

There once was a witch named Hazel,

Whose voice was whiny and nasal;

To deepen her tone,

She began to drone,

As she concocted a brew made from basil.

There once was a man with a duck,

Who said that it was for good luck;

To play the keno,

He went to Reno,

With the duck in the back of his truck.

There once was a fellow named Gus,

Who drove a large yellow bus;

The children from school,

Called him a big fool,

And thus Gus kicked up quite a fuss.

There once was a lady from Bath,

Who asked me to join her for a bath;

I am rather shy,

And would have asked why,

But I feared I would incur her wrath.

There once was a fellow with a tent,

He wished to put it up for rent;

But it had a leak,

His prospects were bleak,

Until he rent (tore) it and made shirts for a gent.

There once was a fellow named Chuck,

Who was always down on his luck;

But one day all that changed,

When it was arranged,

For him to visit Tuktoyaktuk.

Officials whose shoes always shine,

Seem to like to wine and to dine;

At public expense,

It seems to make sense,

To insist that they all resign.

Politicians vote themselves a pay hike,

It seems that they are all alike;

How nice it must be,

To be so carefree,

And never have to go out on strike.

Our village has only one preacher,

Who wants to meet the local teacher;

He tries again and again,

But it is all in vain,

He simply can never reach her.

 
© Regis Auffray