Love in the Strawberry Patch and Other Stories

In the Strawberry Patch

One day in the strawberry patch,
I encountered a wonderful match;
She had dark hair and freckles,
Her nickname was Beckles,
She truly was the perfect catch.

Lady Malinda

Lady Malinda on her way to the mall,
Saw Humpty Dumpty when he had a fall;
With her magic spell,
She made him all well,
They are now on their way to the ball.

A Lass from Nampa

There once was a lass from Nampa,
Who fell in love with her grandpa;
This upset her folks,
And gave rise to jokes,
They eloped and now live in Tampa.

A Woman on the Rhine

I once met a woman on the Rhine,
She liked a cigar with her wine;
Things got a bit hazy,
She drove me crazy,
Then she said she wanted to be mine.

A Lady in Jail

There once was a lady in jail,
Who needed someone to post bail;
When I volunteered,
She jumped up and cheered,
We now live together in Vail.

A Lady Named Mabel

I've met a lady named Mabel,
She's showed me that I'm quite able;
We've just got together,
In spite of the weather,
We're now sitting at her table.

A Gal from Reno

I once met a gal from Reno,
Who was addicted to keno;
With my lucky rabbit,
She's shaken the habit,
We're now living in Tofino.

A Man on a Horse

There once was a man on a horse,
Who found himself on the wrong course;
He rode into town,
With a most pronounced frown,
Then decided to join the work force.

A Lady Named Faron

There once was a lady named Faron,
Who married a powerful baron;
He wanted a child,
And became quite riled,
When she declared that she was barren.

A Lass Named Julie

There once was a lass named Julie,
Who was rather fond of patchouli;
That essential oil,
Attracted a mohel,
Who gave her the name of yours truly.

© Regis Auffray