Lady Godiva and other Stories

Lady Godiva

When Lady Godiva came on a horse,

Nude as a newborn baby, of course;

She was distinctive,

And most attractive,

All the townsfolk gathered in force.

A Color-Blind Man

There once was a man in the town,

Who insisted that yellow was brown;

His concept of colour,

Could not have been duller,

So, he constantly wore a frown.

A Man with Long Hair

 There once was a man with long hair,

This man with long hair did not scare;

He looked you in the eye,

Until he made you cry,

As he said, “I really do not care!”

A Man from Delaware

There is a man in Delaware,

Who walks about in his underwear;

He thinks he looks great,

But all he does is grate,

The ladies who are fine and fair.

A Lady Named Jackie

A lady I know named Jackie,

Believes that I’m rather wacky;

She can’t see the reason,

No matter the season,

I dress my dog Blacky in khaki.

Barney and Marnie

There is a fellow named Barney,

Who has a partner named Marnie;

Marnie is Barney’s,

Barney is Marnie’s,

They live in the town of Blarney.

A Lady Named Maude

There once was a lady named Maude,

Who married a fellow named Claude;

Things went well at first,

But the bubble burst,

When Maude realized Claude was a clod.

A Wannabe Spook

There once was a spook named Luke,

Who tried to haunt the town of Sooke;

His successes were rare,

But he did not care,

Though every success was a fluke.

A Lady and Her Gnome

When I visited the town of Nome,

A lady showed me her garden gnome;

When I said it looked fine,

That I wish it were mine,

She invited me into her home.

A Fellow Named Dwyer

There once was a fellow named Dwyer,

Who insisted on joining the choir;

Though he practiced daily,

With a member named Haley,

His voice remained as smooth as barbed wire.

© Regis Auffray