My Twelve Days of Christmas,

By Rebecca Kostro

On the first day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
A scrawny cat with fleas 

On the second day of Christmas 
My true love sent to me
Two homeless dogs 
And a scrawny cat with fleas 

On the third day of Christmas 
My true love sent to me
Three tiny raccoons 
Two homeless dogs 
And a scrawny cat with fleas 

On the fourth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Four orphaned kittens 
Three tiny raccoons 
Two homeless dogs 
And a scrawny cat with fleas 

On the fifth day of Christmas 
My true love sent to me
Five freezing ferrets
Four orphaned kittens 
Three tiny raccoons 
Two homeless dogs 
And a scrawny cat with fleas 

On the sixth day of Christmas 
My true love sent to me
Six skunks a-scenting

Five freezing ferrets 
Four orphaned kittens 
Three tiny raccoons 
Two homeless dogs 
And a scrawny cat with fleas 

 On the seventh day of Christmas 
My true love sent to me
Seven pups a-peeing 

Six skunks a-scenting

Five freezing ferrets 
Four orphaned kittens 
Three tiny raccoons 
Two homeless dogs 
And a scrawny cat with fleas 

 On the eighth day of Christmas 
My true love sent to me
Eight rabbits mating
Seven pups a-peeing

Six skunks a-scenting

Five freezing ferrets 
Four orphaned kittens 
Three tiny raccoons 
Two homeless dogs 
And a scrawny cat with fleas 

On the ninth day of Christmas 
My true love sent to me
Nine mice a-scampering 

Eight rabbits mating
Seven pups a-peeing

Six skunks a-scenting

Five freezing ferrets 
Four orphaned kittens 
Three tiny raccoons 
Two homeless dogs 
And a scrawny cat with fleas 

On the tenth day of Christmas 
My true love sent to me
Ten frogs a-leaping
Nine mice a-scampering 
Eight rabbits mating
Seven pups a-peeing
Six skunks a-scenting
Five freezing ferrets 
Four orphaned kittens 
Three tiny raccoons 
Two homeless dogs 
And a scrawny cat with fleas 


 On the eleventh day of Christmas 
My true love sent to me
Eleven geese a-pooping 
Ten frogs a-leaping
Nine mice a-scampering 
Eight rabbits mating
Seven pups a-peeing
Six skunks a-scenting
Five freezing ferrets 
Four orphaned kittens 
Three tiny raccoons 
Two homeless dogs 
And a scrawny cat with fleas 
 
On the twelfth day of Christmas 
I finally said to my true love:

“Listen up, Buster,
Send me a dozen red roses,
 Some very expensive jewelry,
A gigantic Teddy Bear,
And Caribbean Cruise tickets,
Or you’re going to be History.”

So,

On the twelfth day of Christmas

My true love sent to me

A dozen lovely red roses

Some very expensive jewelry

A gigantic yellow Teddy Bear

And tropically scented flea shampoo

Three out of four isn’t too bad

Right?!

©2005, Rebecca Kostro

I’m sure that my lovely wife

Didn’t mean a single word she said;

But wait until she sees her very last gift;

I really think we’re gonna need a bigger bed.

Merry Christmas, Everyone!

And May God Bless Us, One and All

Signed,

Dead Ed