You're a dilemma, Emma,
always meaning well,
then getting into trouble
when your love life goes to hell.
I'm there on the double,
but I don't always know
what I'm supposed to do.

Your life is in a whirl, girl!
Sometimes you blindly blunder
into where you shouldn't be.
You leave me lost in wonder—
who are you trying to be?
What did I ever see in you
to make me fall so hard?

Life for you's been pretty wild, child.
You're the shy and quiet type,
as clever as a cat,
so despite all of the rotten hype
I know where your heart's at...
it's safe with me,
but it's so hard to hold onto.

Your Achille's heel is love, dove.
I've seen your heart get broken
over half a million times.
All the foolish words I've spoken
cannot save you from the slime
you do attract.
Girl, you gotta watch your back!

You're a maiden in distress
I try repeatedly to save,
forever in a mess,
and it's always a close shave!
Playing games with hearts
when you don't even know the rules...
We're just two fools...
And you're my dilemma, Emma.

You're the fairer side of me,
barking up a tangled tree,
only looking for a friend
who'll stick by you 'til the end.
How can you feel alone
when we both share
the same small home?

That's our dilemma, Emma...
you and me.