What If…….

What if this were the last poem I ever wrote?

And what if you thought my words fell flat?

Would I just go up in a puff of smoke?

Would you burn my books in protest of my work?

Or would you mourn me?

A mourning like that which comes at the end of a tragic tale

What if my last words were just too much for you to swallow?

Would you forgive me and wish that you could read more?

Or would you turn your back and say, “She was just another author in the world.”?

Would you place a rose on my casket and recite a poem at my funeral?

Or perhaps lug in one of my favorite books that made you think of me and present it before a group of mourners?

What if for once in my life I had finally penned a masterpiece and was unable to enjoy the spoils of it all?

Like a penned in blood portrait of the one I loved who never had a love for me

Even in the end I resolve that I will always be deep

Whether it be an early morning write or an evening closing piece

I can be no other but myself

That purple loving eighties nerd who enjoys listening to records from time to time

The one who misses playing cassette tapes on a sunny afternoon

I will always be mom’s bobble head, vehicle dj, and Kool-Aid kid

The one who loves her blue jeans, collecting bandanas, and black and white photographs

I am old beyond my years and it shows

I love deep, laugh often, and hurt worse

I am competitive, bull headed, and sometimes easily angered

I wear my first fur baby Samantha on my arm and cannot wait to wear my second fur love Roxanne on my other arm someday

I am weird, silly, and shy

But, what if you did not take the time out to get to know any of these things about me?

Would you just walk on by and not even glance my way?

What if you spat in my eye only to find out that I was not such a monster after all?

What if you gave me just a tiny itty bitsy bit of a chance?

I promise I don’t bite hard!

But if this were my last written piece…

What would it all matter anyway?

You would only be getting to know a ghost

You would be struck by the fact that you missed your chance to get to know someone different

Because I am different and I will be the first one to admit that

I have my own style

I have my own dreams, as unreachable as they are

And I have a drive to want to better myself

What if this last piece

My last piece

Were written right as I drifted off

Off and away from this life

It would make for quite the ending wouldn’t it?

I would be unable to top myself

I would have so many loose ends that would just rest in darkened silence

My heart would beat no longer to the tune of that eighties song playing in my head

What if you think this piece is crap?

Give it to me straight y’all

As I come to close what may just be the last poem for my latest book coming up

Oh, August, you will be the birth month of my twelfth baby

My heart will burst with joy as you will finally be released to the world

Get ready folks

Naked (Raw) will be here before ya know it

And it is time to finally bid all of you adieu

Good night

Happy “early” Easter

And God Bless

Love always,

Your pain in the butt author, friend, family member, and sister in Christ

Tiffany Lynn Simar!

4/15/17