There comes a time in one's life when the truth needs to be spoken. It is both liberating and terrifying, but silence is no longer an option. I hope others may benefit from my words.
There was a time in my life when I feared the dark,
I feared being alone, so afraid was I.
In the dark, things took place.
I could not control them. I had no control.
In the dark, others took control and they used me,
they hurt me. They did mean things to me and
I was afraid. I was afraid to tell, for they would kill me.
I was afraid to know, to remember, because
I knew I would tell. Most of all, I was afraid to see,
so I placed myself somewhere darker
than the darkness I had known.
I see the dark, the night.
My old house is empty and I am alone.
I clean and I sweep and I cook and I try
to stay busy so that I won't feel and I won't remember,
so distracted I become. But it never works.
It really never worked.
I saw them, their mean faces.
I saw them, their rough hands and coarse ways.
I heard them say that I would be killed
if I didn't do what they said.
I see the dark, the window on the porch lit
and I wait in my fear. I wait in my home
to be heard, to be loved, to be known,
to be real.
I wait in the corner where I've been cast,
in the shadows, in the corner,
I wait.
I never was afraid of the dark or anyone when I was young because my father and my mother were both very strong in different ways. My father would never let anyone hurt me and my mother was always there to console me no matter what happened or how it happened.
But I can see it was different for you and I hope that by sharing more and more of your darkest secrets, put away because of fear of death, can now be revealed because those threats, except in your mind no longer exist. Thankfully, just remnants of the past.
Corrine, this is such a courageous piece of writing…
Hidden fear is a terrible and haunting legacy that
is borne of such vile and disturbing circumstances
that you have spoken of,
and can infiltrate every part of life thereafter..
I truly hope this is a liberating and cleansing
experience for you…No longer to feel “cast in
the shadows, in the corner”…but to enjoy
Liberation and bask in the bright light of grace
and goodness…Your words must surely help anyone
who has suffered in similar ways, and it is so selfless and
brave to offer your pain to assist others…
I wish you Love, Inner Peace, and Happiness free from fear…
How brave of you to put it in writing for others to benefit from it. I truly wish no one would ever have to go through something like that. The more it comes out in the open, with survivors sharing their story, the less blame and shame victims will put on themself. And maybe that will help them brake free sooner.
Thank you for sharing 🙏❤️
The first-person usage of language makes this very personal. As such, the reader is struck with the courage and honesty some will take to reveal aspects of self, hoping such exposure with inspire others of like experience will express as well. Hopefully, your message is read and given serious consideration by each reader. There's a degree of your life's experience in all of us. It too needs to be expressed for without grounding the disturbance, it will continue to make its house calls uninvited. Good luck to you. In my own way, I attempted to explore darkness in "An Artist's Glass Darkly," an effort to objectivize reality, dissonant as it is.
This book represents a thirty-day period of my poetry journal. Each poem addresses
the dominant thoughts occupying my mind during the early morning hours of a given
day.
Regis. 🙏🌸
But I can see it was different for you and I hope that by sharing more and more of your darkest secrets, put away because of fear of death, can now be revealed because those threats, except in your mind no longer exist. Thankfully, just remnants of the past.
Ron
Hidden fear is a terrible and haunting legacy that
is borne of such vile and disturbing circumstances
that you have spoken of,
and can infiltrate every part of life thereafter..
I truly hope this is a liberating and cleansing
experience for you…No longer to feel “cast in
the shadows, in the corner”…but to enjoy
Liberation and bask in the bright light of grace
and goodness…Your words must surely help anyone
who has suffered in similar ways, and it is so selfless and
brave to offer your pain to assist others…
I wish you Love, Inner Peace, and Happiness free from fear…
Love,
Diana..🍃
Thank you for sharing 🙏❤️