Here is my suggestion for making the verses flow smoother: It appears that you are writing this poem in 7.8.8.7 meter, at least that is the meter that I found fits it well; you could also use a similar one such as 7.8.7.8. or 8.8.8.8. Ideas should be separated at least somewhat by the lines of poetry, as if using commas and periods. In makes it much prettier and flows smoothly. Here is an example that I have meterized for you:
In the darkness of the night
The little boy slips out of bed
Drops to his knees, shuts his blue eyes,
And then he bows his head.
Dear Jesus, please do not get mad
That I'm asking these things again
You know I love You, and I know
You always do what You can.
Every night I ask from You
The same things over and over...
Reviewed by Donald Balsley (Reader)
Reviewed on February 14, 2009
I like it. We can all talk to Jesus any place, any time, and any way we need to.
This is soooooo beautiful, but sad also. my heart
broke right along that little boys. I had tears runinng down
my face when I finished reading it. Pearl you really
know how to get to the heart of it. Hugs and God bless you. Myrtle
A story with original photography, digital art, and illustration, about Son of Waves, 12 Dolphins to save the planet, David The Visionary on the beach in Tel Aviv, a digital messiah, and an internet of Love. Free PDF download.
In the darkness of the night
The little boy slips out of bed
Drops to his knees, shuts his blue eyes,
And then he bows his head.
Dear Jesus, please do not get mad
That I'm asking these things again
You know I love You, and I know
You always do what You can.
Every night I ask from You
The same things over and over...
broke right along that little boys. I had tears runinng down
my face when I finished reading it. Pearl you really
know how to get to the heart of it. Hugs and God bless you. Myrtle
A beautiful poetic composition... "A Little Boy's Prayer" sings
compassion and inspires humanity.
I did enjoy visiting Your Den, Poet!
May Your life be a long healthy one through a blissful creative living.
In gratitude and reverent admiration.
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU
God Bless You and Your Family
Tracey