“Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.”
J.K. Rowling

I've spent my life
Searching and craving
Love of all kinds.
As a child
I craved affection,
A simple hug,
A comforting voice
When the nightmares came,
And the same voice assuring me
I was wanted,
And I was cherished.
As I grew older
I still needed those things,
But now there was also
The need for approval,
The need for acceptance,
The need to know
I mattered in ways other than
My prosaic usefulness.
With adulthood
The human needs were
Accompanied by those
Of a woman,
The desires for the warmth
Of a similar soul
And the touch,
The singular love,
Of a good man.
But truth has a ruthless way
Of making itself known.
For, whatever reasons
I have hungered and starved
Wished and prayed
For the same things
Shared by every human,
I realize I have emerged
So damaged as
To be unable to receive them.
I am stuck on some thing
Long lost in my past
That prevents me
From the full nourishment
My soul needs.
But I have the affection
And priceless acceptance
Of friends and acquaintances,
The acknowledgments
Of fellow writers and poets,
And of course,
those who read my words;
For these things I am
Forever grateful
And I will be happily content,
For they are so much more
Than many enjoy.
But still, if one day,
By some unexpected chance,
I am healed enough and
Those old needs, cravings,
And desires
Become fed,
I will appreciate them all the more
For the rare treasures they are.

c. 2025