I went back in time to the place where it all started

The place where I learned what love was all about

From the man and woman who showed me that there

Is such a thing as love at first sight, commitment, fidelity.

She stood there so much shorter than I recalled,

Much less than the five foot four that used to tower a small child.

She quit her job to take care of me after doing the best she could

To keep me by her side.

Her hair once jet black, now snow white and silver gray,

Still wavy though and full of the past’s display. She turned

To me and smiled, just like before, and I couldn’t help but feel

A  lump in my throat’s core.

My grandfather’s been gone for more than two years.  The house

Sure seems empty and I can’t imagine what it must be like for

Her here alone for the first time in over sixty five years.

He loved her the moment he saw her.  Dropped his other

Girlfriends and gave all his attention to her,

But there was only one detail,

She was engaged to another.

No problem, he said, just give back the ring,

Cause there is no doubt, you are my wife

From this moment on.

She didn’t think he was that hot,

But he didn’t let that deter him

And the more he hung around and showed her,

Well, she says he just sorta grew on her.

Came the day when she knew she was in love,

And then she gave him all she had, and for him,

That was enough.

They married and he pledged to love her until he died,

And he kept his word, never faltering, he took her

In his heart to the grave.  When he said forever,

He meant what he said.

I asked him once if he’d ever cheated.

No, he said.  I asked him why, and he

Patiently took a deep breath and said,

Just because you can steal a car,

Doesn’t mean you should.

She told me she’d never shared the worries

Of her girlfriends,

Never worried where he was, who he was with,

Or what he was doing.

If he wasn’t working, he was working at home,

Or walking to stay in shape, or going to church.

There were very few times he was ever without her.

He didn’t want to miss one day with her by his side.

Everything he built even had her name carved

Into its surface – A marked declaration of who

Was his life.

He stopped talking his own sister because she

Didn’t pay her respect, hurt her feelings and

Treated her unfairly.  He was willing to give up

Anything.  As long as he had her, what or who

else did he need?

As I sat with her at the kitchen table, watched

The tears roll down her face, she told me

Of the most beautiful and the most

Horrible moment in her life –

When he took his last breath.

She fought tooth and nail to stay at his side,

Never left him for a moment the entire

Last month of his life as he lay in a hospital bed

DYING.

She lay her head on his chest.  She didn’t dare lay down.

She’d have to lay away from him, and she didn’t want

To be even that far from his body, from his warmth,

From the last beats of his failing heart.

The doctor’s told her it wouldn’t be much longer.

He’d stopped responding to us, but they assured us

He could hear our every word.

She talked to him that night, told him she was finally letting go,

Tired of seeing him waste away, this now shell of the man

She used to know.  She told God she was ready

Whenever He was, and rested her head one more time

To the slow, all too far apart beat, beat, beat ….

Then the silence came, and in that moment,

She knew he was gone, and her heart silently

Screamed in pain while in disbelief she called the nurse,

I think he’s gone, and the nurse took her hand and confirmed.

Life stopped for her that day, and her ability to walk.  She lost all

Motor skills in that moment and has just recently begun to move

About again with the aid of a walker.

She used to stand so straight and tall, and now she’s bent and frail.

Lost twenty pounds she can’t gain back. Just trying to stay at

Eighty pounds is a chore.

She packed a suitcase, his old one, and put in the last of his clothes,

His old Southern Pacific belt buckle and his old white leather belt,

Rolled it over to me and said, Here.  Take this with you.

I don’t know where to go.  I can’t seem to move.  Still stuck in

The moment when I heard that last heart beat and he had to go. 

I know my tears won’t bring him back. 

I know it’s a selfish sin, but I would

Do anything to have him back, even for just one more day.

There’s no life without him.  I don’t know what’s worse.

We were supposed to die together, but you know, that’s just

The dream, of course.

He wasn’t a perfect man.  You really had to put up with him.  But

He was a good husband and father, and he loved me more

Than his own life.  I was his Lola, and he was my life.

I made her a promise.  I’d not stay away.  She promised to

Eat and try to gain weight, and I promised to come see

Her on every Wednesday.  And she said okay.

She told me she doesn’t want a long funeral.  Something short.

It’s painful enough.  I told her I want to be a pallbearer just like

At my grandfather’s funeral – a first for us!  Women just don’t

Do those things, but I do a lot of things women aren’t supposed to

In my family’s eyes.

The way I see it, it’s my last gift, to the other one “parent”

Who carried me from birth to becoming full grown.