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Leo Durrant

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Member Since: Jul, 2007

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A Sky So Blue
by Leo Durrant → (All Poetry by Leo Durrant)
   Rated "G" by the Author.
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Poem Artwork



Remember in our youthful peace
when hand in hand we walked beneath
a sky so blue it hurt your eyes,
your eyes so blue they hurt my skys.

With eyes so blue, diskyzed by hurt,
your sky so blue, it eyed my hurt.
But I deneyed my blue-sky hurt
and realized then, that us, we weren't.

You wafted then away from me
Your sky-blue-eyed hurt turned from me
My blood, mid-vein, froze black like dirt.
eye skyed my blue and cursed the hurt.

Now, 'midst the mists of fantasies
of sleep where endless entities
still haunt my head while not alert,
with blue-eyed skys, you haunt my hurt.


 


Note: Photo taken by Kabir Bakie July 2004


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 Reviews of "A Sky So Blue"
Reviewed by Amy Feemster
Reviewed on June 29, 2008
I really like this one. Amy.

Reviewed by Randall Barfield
Reviewed on December 13, 2007
great word play. enjoyed. cheers

Reviewed by Charlie
Reviewed on September 30, 2007
Beautiful rework. I like the stanza formation--four quatrains with three recurring words shifting and changing positions and yet building a story and beautiful images--much shorter than a sestina, but do you notice, it's pretty much the same thing--just internal. I gotta try something like this. The only line that sticks out is "and realized then, that us, we weren't." Anyone that can play so fluidly with words does not disuse our mother tongue so! Be good! I know you can come up with something--maybe a slant rhyme like "ird" or "ooo" or "ood" or "oot" or "int,ant,ent" etc.

Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan
Reviewed on July 16, 2007
the lightness in the rhythm of your poem belies the saddnes in the truth of the words-well done

Reviewed by Regina Pounds
Reviewed on July 14, 2007
Your use of the blue sky and your play with the words to tell a stark story of love gone awry impresses as original.

Gina

Reviewed by William Cryer (Reader)
Reviewed on July 14, 2007
Encore! Vastly amusing, and fun to read.

Reviewed by Richard Cederberg
Reviewed on July 14, 2007
WOW ... your bio-pic is awesome - like a god. And your poem here is quite unique!


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