it's my brother's birthday today... well yesterday... i stayed up too late... but either way i cant get ahold of him to tell him happy birthday so i wrote this instead happy 19th dear levon...

"my big little brother"
you started calling yourself that
after your growth spurt
years after mine, where i had towered over you
and you were upset about that
we fought for always
we thought we hated each other
and we were right
we did

and i tried to take care of you
watch over you and your dangerous games
you were not the sort to take care of his sister
but you let me dress you
in my prom dresses
never grudgingly
with pleasure, rather
you'd pose for my camera
looking better in it
(though it wouldnt zip all the way)
than i could ever dream to
you know... minus the boobs i had
and you dont...
the last time was years ago
but i'm sure you could be persueded
even now

i would know you were home alone
when pulling in the driveway
every light
and most of the tv's and radios
were on

you are an adult now
and just as reckless
destructive
taking things apart fully intending the reassemble
and finding there is too litte time
and so much to eat

still funny
and rude
and racist... though for real... i'm not sure
and utterly levon