a short fiction story in the form of poetry... this is it folks... the end :)

Chapter Twelve
5:30 am

i feel it working
i know it is complete
i feel the tiredness in my body
i want to sleep
i knock the pill bottle over
when i reach to turn out the light
staring at them
thinking “isn't that just typical?
i don't want to die like this”
i stand to pick them up
but movement is hard
i tip forward
my balance wavers
and i fall backwards on the bed
the sea lurches and you awake
i put my head in my hands
i’m too far gone now
far away and flying
no longer able to be saved
i don't want salvation anymore
you mumble something
and then "oh god"
you grab me by the arms
i barely notice the feeling of your hands
the look in your green, green eyes
"what did you do?!" you yell to me
i cant hear you anymore
you drag me into the bathroom
you are on the phone with 911
your finger down my throat
trying to make me throw up
you tell the other half of the phone
what has happened
i slump against the tub
fighting you
i close my eyes to you
i whisper
"i love you"
and i go dark

you told me that if i jumped
you would follow
i glared at you
looked behind me
at the street
looked down from the rooftop
the same rooftop
just four weeks after your proposal
i was crazy with rage
crazy with the demons
they told me things i didn't
want to hear
but i believed them and let them take me
take me to a place where my heart
my mind
my soul
does not exist
i didn't want to live
you had walked out on me
on our second real fight
and i had lost it
given in to the demons
and even after you came back
found me here on this rooftop
apologized to me
i stood there
warning you “don't come closer”
you stood with your hands out
i could see that those hands
wanted to hold me
but at the same time
wanted to shake me
hurt me
because i was hurting you
you stood there
your soul in front of you
your heart in your eyes
i could tell
you wanted to just give up
to let me jump
if that is what i wanted, it is what i wanted
you were sick of holding me down
keeping me alive if i was so dead-set
on ending my life
you stood there
in front of me
your eyes ringing true
the feelings you had inside you
those eyes
made me step down from the ledge
you took me in your arms
i didn't cry that night

i open my eyes
sterile white
noise muffled by a wall
you are here
my hand in yours
a doctor enters
speaks words in a foreign language
a language i do not comprehend
you seem to understand
you look at me
sadness in your eyes
i start to cry
another doctor
psyche by the look of him
he tells us
you
me
that i have to stay for a while
and now i see you sitting there
in that green vinyl chair
holding my hand
you are crying
and i realize what made me stay last time
love
plain and simple
love
the four letters of the word
the word that was non-existent in my world
for thirteen years
burns itself in front of my eyes
i tell you i love you
that i will never hurt you again
and i tell the truth