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the last time was
so long ago
i cant remember Y
i thought it was impossible
that my tear ducts
had somehow dried
but
today
i cried
i cried because
it feels like i live in a world
filled with ignorance
and guided by fate
i cried because
at 15
my mother was the victim of rape
accosted by my father
further trodden upon
by her beautiful ebony complexion
and neglect
i cried because
i was taught never to question my elders
but it was my elders questions
that lead me to suffer my mothers fate
and my light complexion
given to me by my father
that made me the victim
of her hate
i cried because
so many young women
dont have a clue
of all the wonderful things they could do
in spite of
the fact that
they werent shown
at home
a close to adequate way
to grow and bloom
and
those who were
are so caught up being "her"
that they forget how to fly
how to look to the sky
as being their only limitation
in life
and often die
without receiving the
glorification
for being
a being
beautiful inside
and out
they deserve
i cried because
as a young girl
i married a young boy
way before
i was mature enough to
experience the joy
of being in love and
loving someone
i cried because
14 years later
when we filed for divorce
my children didnt have a voice
in the situation
and
became statistics
Then
i cried because
today i still struggle
with my soul mate
all of them
one after another
choosing to make me suffer
for their inadequacies
loving me with neglect
doting on me with well planned lies
courting me with their own
low self esteem
forcing me to live in a dream
of being a satisfied lover
while
loving
her
i cried long and hard
till my sides ached
under the pressure of my sobs
till my lips cracked from
absorbing so many tears
till my cries made my head throb
and plead for me
to disown my ears
even now
as i sit on my knees
in prayer for
a better tomorrow
i am still crying
©2008 The1Essence; Memoirs of an Ordinary Woman
Volume II
Coming on 2/14/09
All Rights Reserved Exclusively by
The1Essence
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Edwin