Angel wings gently flutter
As they pass over the desert floor
Using the sky as their canvas
And Heaven as their door
Streaks of pink and hues of purple
Color the desert the skies
As Angel wings quiver quickly
Dripping paint before it dries
Shades of gold mixed with blue
A tiny hint of green
Angel wings work furiously
To stroke this lovely scene
I sit and watch their busy work
As the sun is almost down
A sunset over the desert floor
Connecting heaven to the ground
ă 2005 Sherry L Gibson All rights reserved
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One iddy-biddy thing I will tell you, and I'm no one at all to be advising you. Rhymed and metered poetry can be brightened considerably, and the mood can be conveyed with more power, if the rhyming is perfect, which is a thing difficult to achieve, especially when one is as prolific as yourself. A perfect rhyme is one where the last syllable "sounds" exactly like the word we are rhyming. A minor thing, to be sure, and there's only one a little off in Desert Sunset, and probably no one except another poet would ever catch it. Your work is far better than mine, and I've no business offering advice, but an inborn talent like yours should not be discolored even a little due to what we might call "clerical" error. And besides, it's your poem, and if it sounds right to you, that's all that matters. Again, Desert Sunset is obviously well thought out, and very pretty in the picture it paints. Even without Barbara's photo, I love it. Even though I have the construction of poetry established in my head, I still can't write it; I don't have the talent. It takes someone like you. As your other poems, the imperfect rhyme takes little away fromt the overall beauty, and perhaps it is simply your style. I actually have more troube with meter than I do rhyme. For meter to me correct (and who says it must be correct?), the number of syllables in the lines will be consistent with the pattern. Not just the number of syllables, but their arrangement (every word of two or more syllables and every grouping of words have stressed and unstressed syllables, and if we can keep the stress/unstressed consistent, we end up with a poem that can be read aloud without any kind of break in the rhythm.) Sherry, I wouldn't have taken the time to say all of the above if I didn't think yours is some of the pretties poetry at Authorsden.
the picture is glorius
Outstanding!!!
Excellent..
(((HUGS))) and much love, your tx. friend, karen lynn. :D
thanks for your review on my story; much appreciated! :D