Graciousness and Gratitude

Once in a while I look up, and find
myself here again-
For reasons beyond my control, I believe-
Yes; I believe without conscience, that
I need to refresh my pages of memory-
I’ve always heard and now I can testify that
love truly is blind; Or maybe that’s blind-ing-
One way or the other, I couldn’t see past your
wavy dark hair and piercing blue eyes; Your
lovely sun darkened skin, bronzed and smoothed
by lotions and motions; Or was that emotions?
Who knows? Who cares?
I do! Yes damnit I do-  But…
Not for the reasons you are thinking-
I care because I’m now free from your spell-
I care because I know there will be another poor
lost soul wonder into your arms and allow themselves

To be wrapped up in the confusing feelings of what
you call love-
I begged you then and now I beg myself to remember
the agony of defeat that I knew was coming and didn’t
have the strength or want, to pull away before it
was too late-
Well, now I’m gone again and it’s you standing on the
sturdy platform of loneliness-
I no longer need your arms to hold me in the night; Nor
do I need your eyes to see through to show me the way-
I have been embraced by my own power and strength-
and I can see clearly through the eyes of subtlety and fortitude-

I’ll go now; And leave you to your own recognitions-
I know they aren’t anything like the ones I have but I
have faith that one day you’ll open your eyes and find
yourself in acknowledgement of the depth of being truly
alone.

I’m certainly no woman scorned- But I am a woman
with learned abilities-
One of them being the ability to look into your face and
smile the smile of graciousness and gratitude-

And for the first time; Allow it to be truthful and without
prejudice-

 

© Lisa Hilbers
October 19, 2007