Sometimes we fall into the
compulsion of
overanalyzing.
I know what is unhealthy,
but don’t know if anything that is left
is healthy or just sterile.
It’s not like you can separate
and disentangle
who you are from
how you live
that easily.
It is not like you should always listen
to those who know best.
You always knew best
and see where it got you.
Alcoholism, smoking, and hard drugs
are not issues I have or ever will.
It is not like abstinence is an answer,
only sobriety is.
It is a weird station in life,
to be a receiver
of help when you were always helpful to a fault.
My challenge is knowing when their help
crosses my line.
My challenge is standing up for myself
and separating me from my denials.
It is a challenging task;
no one ever taught me how difficult it was
to be addicted to essentials in school,
to be addicted to words
that frequent my poetry,
words like “drowning” and “confusion.”
I punctuate my life
with the glamorous side of drama for my poetry,
not knowing if it is good or codependent
to open a can of worms I found on the elephant in the room,
not knowing if others are more spiritually enlightened
than the ones they are trying to help.
I recover my way with my Higher Self.
In a world where we are One,
You are either with Her or against yourself.