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Rodney Evan Bohen

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Elvis is Dead!
by Rodney Evan Bohen   

Last edited: Monday, April 21, 2003
Posted: Monday, April 21, 2003

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Elvis not only has left the building, he has left this world as well, ok? Do you get it? Elvis has died! Passed, Crossed over!

Sorry, I have held my tongue for as long as I can endure! I can abide this foolishness no longer! Now listen up everyone please! Elvis not only has left the building, he has left this world as well ok? Do you get it? Elvis has died! Passed, Crossed over!

Now, I know not what caused this interest in E after he died, for it existed not in has last years upon earth! No, few gave a damn period! Elvis was sent to the back of the classroom the day the Beatles touched down in the good old USA!
E was not only washed up at this time, but heavy, puffed up, out of shape, and could no longer remember lines to songs. His greased back hair and crooked smile and style that made him a god and icon in the fifties had definitely come to a screeching halt!

No, I fear the ushering in of the sixties was Elvis's demise as well as swan song! Now, I realize I shall incur the deliberate wrath of all Graceland fans when I impart this new piece of news ok, but nevertheless here goes! Elvis is dead! Get a frigging life!

Now why is it I ask, as soon as the has been dies, we all become fans? Nobody gave one shit about Elvis in his last years....Is it then our guilt that forces us to turn him into a god now that he is dead?

You didn't spot him at the 7-11! Neither did you see him a Planet Hollywood ok? Cus he's dead! Good grief! Do we get it? You didn't see him in his 1965 pink caddy cruising down route 66 ok? You did not see him at the boat show in Laguna! And you damn sure didn't see him at the Stones concert either!

Why on earth wont we let this guy sleep? Damn it tires me out watching you all make complete toads out of yourselves! He's dead ok? Do you get it! Elvis is dead! If I have to hear about one more sixty year old groupie tell me she saw Elvis in Osh Kosh I think I'll implode!

My best friend of youth Ted, was a huge Elvis fan, personally I thought he was a dude even then! I mean he had the hair thing going on, long after....well heck, lets just say I found him a touch loud ok?

Listen, in all seriousness, Elvis was indeed the King once ok! But that was years and years ago! I agree as well he has become even larger than life in death, due to folk, and their odd ways they carry about them. But I have merely this to say to all you Elvis fans this day.

Where the hell were you in his last days and years when you know, he couldn't find a fan anywhere, yes, when he had become a joke for what had once made him great! Where were you when against the back drop of the sixties, hippydom and the Beatles and Stones, Elvis became sadly a joke! Where were you then I ask?

Yes, I think Elvis could have used all of our sincere support in his last years, cus we kicked him to the curb of time! Out with the old, in with the new! Hey, if this tribute after death serves as a salve of sorts, for injured consciences, due to how we treated him in his last years, fine, yet I must say, I wish we could have given him the tribute due, when it might have saved his life!

How Elvis would have loved the extended glow of stardom that we offered Tony Bennet in his golden years, thanks to M TV. I say its high time we offer tribute to the living, while we leave those passed, to their sleep! Elvis requires not our applause nor our fanfare this day in time, for he needed it when alive! And no, I sadly state, for the benefit of all of us this day, that he is alive no more!

Rest well Elvis, for surely you were the King once! And on behalf of all of us, I'm sorry we didnt treat you better while you were still with us, for indeed if we had, you might still be with us this day! And I for one, think that would be a good thing indeed.

It saddens me to announce this day however, once and for all , that yes, Elvis has left the building!

Rodney Evan Bohen

Web Site: Rodney's Painted Pen Commentary

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Reviewed by Debra Conklin 1/18/2004
Ohmygawd! Don't tell my mother! My sentiments exactly along with Jerry Garcia (sorry Deadheads). Kurt Cobain (what exactly did he sing anyway)? Princess Di (a woman who shoulda got her shit together and kicked that sorryass, cheating Prince out, way before she did). And Jimmy Dean ( the true one hit wonder of film). Move on people!
Loved your rant, as well.
Reviewed by Helga Ross 4/22/2003
The King is dead. Long live the King!
How come I knew that? Thanks for reminding me!

BTW Rodney, thank you, too, for "the slumbering muse has arisen once more..." You have no idea how right you are, the effort it took...LOL
Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie 4/22/2003
This was great..I wish they would just let the poor guy rest in what you had to say here!

Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 4/21/2003
you're not alone...elvis HAS left the building...PERMANENTLY. great rant! (((HUGS))) and love, karla. (who--thank GOD--is still in the building!)
Reviewed by Darlene Caban 4/21/2003
Yes, he's dead! Actually, the 'real' Elvis died when he became fat and hooked on drugs. I think those people who spot Elvis at gas stations and shopping malls might just be projecting their own wishes onto people who probably, up close, look nothing like Elvis.
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 4/21/2003
i am glad i am not the only one either. elvis is DEAD, pure and simple, and he was only a human being; he was NOT god, and people shouldn't treat him as such! :( (((HUGS))) thanks for sharing this, rodney! :)
Reviewed by Carolyn Red Bear (The Bear Paw) 4/21/2003
Whoa! I'm glad I'm not the only one, Rodney.. -Bear

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