Don't know about the category selection - HUMOR - could be, but the topic isn't really FUNNY, is it?

GOD BLESS IDIOTS! ESPECIALLY THE HIGHLY EDUCATED, HIGHLY OVER-PAID ONES!

HOGWASH

Copyright: 01/08/08 - Tom Hyland


Yesterday, while driving along in my PT Cruiser, I changed the radio station to 88.1 FM, National Public Radio, just to take a break from ‘pop’ music for a while. Sometimes, I do like to catch up on the news, or enjoy some of the various ‘talk’ shows and their guests.

Anyway, I think it was about 5:53 pm, and whichever show was on, the guest reporter was some guy from ‘The Think Tank’ in Washington, D.C. Jim Kissinger, or Killinger, or something that started with the letter ‘K.’ They had done some kind of study on Median Income of Middle Americans, and this guy was spouting out statistical data. At first, it sounded well founded, and perhaps somewhat logical.

But then he made a statement that got my attention. I shall attempt to repeat it as best as I can, as a paraphrase, and not verbatim:

The gist of what this guy was saying was that, while the media is saying that Middle Income Americans are doing so poorly, they were really doing much better, as their study showed. While the median income for Middle Americans is $46,000 a year, after dropping out the figures for Heads of Households Age 21, and Age 91 (yes, he said 91) - that median or average jumped up to $62,000 - AND - if they were Married, it was $72,000!

I almost dropped a load in my pants, when I heard this astounding statement, but then my car entered the old Baltimore Harbor Tunnel entrance, and I lost the rest of the transmission. As I came out on the other side, in Brooklyn, the report discussion had ended.

As I drove along on my journey, my mind started working feverishly, like a steel trap. Where in the HELL do these ‘clowns’ who do these SKEWED studies get their information? Exactly WHAT criteria do they CHOOSE to analyze? And what COMMON SENSE, if ANY, do they employ? … And for what REASON? We all know that statistics can be used, to prove just about any point you want to, if you MANIPULATE the figures properly.

First of all, what in God’s Holy Name would possess them to choose the Age of 91? Is there some MAGIC number of really OLD, retired senior citizens that are still ALIVE? And is their miniscule income so LOW, that it would have such an impact on this ASSUMED, PRESUMED AVERAGE?

Now, beings I am a young Whippersnapper of ONLY 67 - twenty-six years Younger than said ‘group’ - and struggling along on a meager retirement pension of less than $18,000 per annum, and FORCED to work part-time three days a week, just to BARELY make my expenses, that so-called FIRST MEDIAN OF $46,000 sounds REALLY, REALLY DAMNED GOOD to me - just HOW can I get some of this?

According to all of the various and sundry ‘guv’mint hand-out’ programs, I MAKE TOO MUCH MONEY TO BE ELIGIBLE!

NO Assistance for: Medicare, Medicaid, Heating, Food Stamps, Raping Costs of BGE Utilities, Health Insurance Premiums, Life Insurance Premiums, Automobile Insurance Premiums, or ANY OTHER SUPPOSED HELP!

Gee, wouldn’t it be nice to get a SENIOR CITIZEN DISCOUNT AT THE GASOLINE PUMPS? Hell, my so-called Senior Citizen Discount, with my Propane supplier, SUBURBAN PROPANE, is so good that my reduced special price is PENNIES UNDER $4.00 PER GALLON!

Yeah, that’s why my Thermostat is constantly set on 63 DEGREES, and I wear a SWEATER, and WARM clothing while I am home relaxing in my GOLDEN YEARS! While watching television, or a DVD movie, or sitting here, hunting and pecking on my little APPLE LAPTOP (which is ALMOST paid off, after a year of exorbitant payments), I sometimes keep warm and fuzzy by putting a nice velour BLANKET around me!

Ah! But enough of my personal vicissitudes, I am one of the fortunate Blessed ones, who happens to be Healthy, yet - Knock on Wood! Some of the poor old codgers I deliver to are: Older, Sick as Dogs, and still Paying exorbitant co-pays and balances not covered by the BOON-Doggle insurance companies for medicines to keep them Alive! THAT IS A CRIME!

Getting back to our original premise - HOGWASH - the other side of the coin, Age 21 - just how many thousands, or millions, or whatever of these youngsters are running a Household, at what PREPOSTEROUS salaries that THEY would impact that so-called Average income, to cause it to jump UPWARDS $16,000? DUH!

Of those millions of people Age 21 and UNDER - how many are: STUDENTS who either DON’T WORK, are still in college (accumulating HUGE Student Loans to Repay some day, when they are Old and Gray), still in High School, or elementary school, or underage CHILDREN who CAN’T WORK yet?

Now, without going to Department of Labor or Census statistics, can we just GUESS at some figures?

Out of about 270,000,000 American citizens, over 70,000,000 are SENIORS, age 65 or older, MOST are retired, many are living in Nursing Homes, and most, if not all, of their sub-standard Social Security benefit checks are going DIRECTLY TO THOSE HOMES!
Why in the Hell wouldn’t THAT statistic be totally deducted, or not counted in trying to establish ANY KIND OF MEDIAN INCOME?

Just for the sake of argument, suppose out of the 200,000,000 remainder only 10 percent are 21 and under? That leaves us with 180,000,000 people roughly in the active work force, okay? Of those, how many are in the Top Ten Percent of Income? Roughly 18,000,000 - after deducting that figure, we are left with only about 162,000,000, right?

Now, let’s do the MATH again; 162,000,000 X $62,000 equals a lot of GOOSE EGGS! $10,044,000,000,000 !!! The 44 part is TRILLIONS, and I don’t even have a clue, what comes after them - but it is 10 WHATEVERS … GA-ZILLIONS?

ANYHOO…. Do you see what’s wrong with this picture?

IF THE ENTIRE FEDERAL ANNUAL DEFICIT BUDGET, INCLUDING WAR COSTS, IS ONLY 2 TRILLION DOLLARS,
PRAY-TELL WHERE IS THE OTHER 42 TRILLION, WITH THREE MORE ZEROES BEHIND IT, TIMES TEN? DUH?

Like I said --- HOGWASH --- and from a D.C. THINK-TANK!

WHO’D A THUNK ?



I did jump over to the Official website:
http://www.usa.gov/Topics/Reference_Shelf/Data.shtml

If you want, you can do your own actual calculating … Good Luck!