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NOTE; This page, will contain a few medical definitions, so as to help the reader understand medical terminology, such as the following...
shin: (definition); a device for finding a coffee table in the dark;
At the age of 67 in 2012, I have learned to take care of
myself for many years, and now that I have reached old age, it is even more important that I continue to do so.
Sign on door reads; 'Gynacologist at your cervix, madam.'
In May of 2012, I suffered a stroke, and I consider it a blessing in disguise, because I was wondering off the beaten path of good health practices, and the stroke served as a wake-up call, to continue to take care of myself. In other words, I was getting lazy; complacient; with a couch potato attitude; and I was just not doing the things I was doing in the past for good health.
Take Care of Yourself...or else!
mistress; (medical definition); something between a mister and a mattress;
The stroke put me in the hospital for a month, and I consider it a mild variety, and thankfully, I didn have any other side-effects because of the stroke (knock on wood). The list below, shows what I have done in the past, and currently to stay healthy...especially now that I have entered the Age of the Old! A person (young or old) cannot have a quality of life, if he or she is sick all the time, etc.
Quit Smoking: I quit smoking in 1970 when I was 24 years old. This is probably the best thing I've done in my life...not only for my own health, but for those around me and for my pets, too; In over 40 years, there has been NO tobacco in my life...cigars; pipe; chew, nothing, etc.
Smoking Sucks! How I Quit Smoking
Sabrina; Another Smoking Casualty
Prescription drugs: These are some of the worst things in this society, and do more harm to people, than they realize. Prescription drugs kill thousands of people all over the country. A few years ago, I went on a crusade for myself, and I was determined to cut as many prescription drugs out of my life. In the last three years, I gone from taking 8 pills a day; down to 3 pills a day...and, I'm still cutting...
Prescription Drugs; The #7 Killer In America
In the last three years, I have been hospitalized three times because of prescription drugs. Twice in 2009 because of the drug metformin; 10 hours in the emergency room; and six months later, I was admitted for two days in the hospital; Doctors are very good at playing DUMB...they will never admit, that the drug they or someone else prescribed was the problem. That's why I want to reduce my drug intake, etc.
The drug Ambien put me in the emergency room for an overnight stay. When I got rid of the drug, I felt fine for years after that.
neurotic; (medical definition); a woman who prefers a psychistrist's couch...rather that a double bed;
Chiropractic; Since 1976, I have gone to a chiropractor over 125 times. Chiropractors don't prescribe drugs, but rely on natural body healing. I would guess in the last 35 years, I have visited a chiropractor about 125 visits on my Wellness Plan. Tip: you have to have an open mind to do this, but I think I'm in better shape because of it. You also have to have patience...there is no magic doctor or pill, etc.
The Benefits of Chiropractic
Medical saying; "A closed mouth...gathers no foot."
Open mind; I think having an open mind for change for the better, is the best quality a person can have. Because of this, a person can go out and experiment with what works and what doesn't. A person has to have an open mind to go to a chiroparctor; acupunctursit; rely on home-remedies; health food, and use certain foods to replace prescription drugs. For example; the use cinnamon for diabetes issues.
Avocados; Chlorestrol; and Heart Disease
(one avocado a week for cholestrol)
Exercise; I've jogged 15 miles a week, for over 24 years, and that translates to over 17,000 miles. (no wonder I'm so tired) I have also pumped iron during all that time.
Now, that I'm in old age...I just pump aluminum foil. (ha-ha) There is no excuse for not exercising...it can be done in bed; on the carpet (floor) or climbing stairs, etc. If a person doesn't find a way to exercise...that person is just, plain lazy.
The Benefits of Exercise
"Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I say it...I wash out my mouth with chacolate." Wayne Parsons
"I consider exercise a quick ten-minute sit." Phyliss Diller
Patience; Millions of people in the America, want to pop a pill the night before and expect miracles the next morning. I does't work that way...there is NO magic pill; no magic doctor...NO magic at all. Everything takes time. I took me a years to quit smoking; it took me the better part of a year to lose 40 pounds, etc. I've been working on my blood-pressure problems for over 40 years! If you don't want to stay with it...you're probably a lazy (lard-ass) and you have no will-power, etc.
Medical reminder...you are a special and unique person...just like everybody else...
Lose weight; I lost 40 pounds in 2001 and in 2012, I've kept the weight off. Everyone knows that extra weight, could be bad for the heart and other organs, etc.
Here's the Skinny On How I Lost 40 Pounds
Losing The Weight is Only the Beginning
Courage: It takes courage to stay healthy, and what with all those awful tests one has to endure. I did a colonoscopy in Febrauay, 2011, and an upper endoscopy in August, 2012. Both showed there were no signs of cancer, and everything is fine...and for that, I am grateful.
Colonoscopy Results; NO CANCER
Alcohol; I don't drink anymore...I don't drink any less, either! Remember that old joke? Are you really that old?
My life is better because of it. I have two brothers and one sister who are alcoholics, and between the three of them...managed to tear the family apart. No thanks to alcohol.
Alcoholism and Tough-Love
High-Blood Pressure; I've had a blood pressure for over 40 years, and I had to find a way to deal with it. Because of this, I never thought I would live to the age of 55...or 60...or 65...and here I still am at age 67...still going, but I watch the blood pressure every week, as I take my blood pressure about twice a week. (kit)
Patient to eye doctor; "I'm dilated to meet you, doctor."
Other things I do to stay healthy;
- I have an open mind to change for the better; I will be starting with an accupuncturist by the end of 2012;
- Over the last three years, I have cut prescription drug intake from eight pills a day...to 3 pills a day. As, I have cut my prescription drup bills from $122 a year the year before last; to $84 last year; I suspect the bill will go down even further in 2012.
- I continue to visit my chiropractor on my wellness plan; about three visits a year; (most insurance plans cover chiropractic now)
- I wash my face with alcohol pads about three times a week; Most people guess my age to be five, seven and even ten years younger than I am; I don't do what I do to look younger; I do what I do to stay healthy;
NOTE; At 67, I'm still kind-of-a-cutie...sort of! (laugh, here)
- I've been going to sleep at night at about nine at night, and wake up about 4 to 4:30 in the morning. I don't have any reason to stay up later than that. This is probably one reason why I get so many ideas; Do my work early in the morning, when the mind is fresh, etc.;
- I get a flu shot every year, and I can't remember when I missed one. I haven't had a cold or flu, since 1992. (knock on wood)
- I am not a vegetarian, but, I, eat more bunny food than I can choke on...
- I got a shingles shot in 2010.
- I drink green tea...about a quart a month...
- I got a pneumonia shot about 5 years ago;
- I visit my chiropractor about 3 times a year; part of my wellness plan, etc.
- I get a blood test or two every year, as part of my prevention plan, etc. I want to know what's going on, so I can fight it...early on, etc.
- I've given up about 90% of red meat for over ten years now. When I eat red meat, it is of the lean variety; (very little)
- I cook with olive oil; people who live in the Mediterareeanean (okay, you spell it, smarty-pants!) countries, live long lives, because of their intake of olives and olive oil, etc.
- I drink one teaspoon of olive oil every morning to help with regularity;
- I drink about a 64oz bottle of prune juice about every two months, to help with regularity, etc. It keeps me on the GO!
- I got a diabetic eye test in October, 2012; Everything was fine; My last three A1C's were 5.9; 5.9; and 6.1; I am quite pleased with these numbers; In November, 2012, my A1C is on the rise, so I have to get back to the basics and lower it...get tough on myself and quit being such an excuse-maker...I don't want to be like a lot of excuse-makers out there...
- If I want to keep my weight in check, I rarely eat ice cream; candy; or frosted bakery goods, etc. Sugar has been shown to cause cancer and many other illnesses, so I try to limit my intake of sugar.
- Appearance doesn't mean a lot to some people...as any old lard-ass will do. But, appearance is important to me, and that's why I keep my weight down, and I use lemon to rid my face of those ugly sun spots (age spots) A person looks as if they are rotting with all those sun spots. Good appearance helps helps with self-esteem and confidence issues, etc.
STROKE; The reader can see how I have taken care of myself for many years, and I still got nailed with a stroke in May, 2012. I think the stroke was of a mild variety, because I take care of myself, and if was not, I might not be here writing this article. From talking to doctors, there is no prevention of a stroke; The best prevention is to take care of yourself and keep an eye on the blood pressure; cholestrol; and diabetes, etc. By doing this, you can minimize the severity of the stroke, and live to talk about it...just like I have done.
When I started writing seriously in 2006, I promised myself I would not be a crusader for anything. With that in mind, I don't care if anyone out there commits suicide one puff at a time; one pound at a time; one snort at a time; or one drink at a time. We live in a country of choices; you can either take care of yourself and avoid peer-pressure...OR...you can fall to temptation and ruin your life because you wanted to be in the 'in crowd.'
$64,000 question: What is the most important thing I do to stay healthy...
Answer; I never...ever...visit my doctor...
And, finally...(thank God);
Medical miracle, perhaps?
"He sure turned his life around. He used to be depressed and irritable...and now he's just irritable and depressed." Harry Kalas
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Copyright; 2012; Jerry Aragon; The Humor Doctor