* * *
As Ed Sullivan would say..."It's time to start the shoe...enjoy."
Are you a tamale...because you're HOT. (yawn, here)
Hey tootsie...you know...you look a lot like my 23rd wife." (yawn, again)
Coffee, Tea or ME? (yawn, again)
Can I have directions to your heart? (yawn, again)
Baby...somebody better call God, cuz he's missiing an angel. (yawn, again)
You must have had Cambell's soup...because you are m-m-m-m; m-m-m good. (yawn, again)
Don't you know ME from somewhere? (Yawn, again)
Does Levi's pay you to wear these jeans, and you look so good? (yawn, again)
It's a good thing, I have my library card, because I've been checking out out. (yawn, again)
It's always good for YOU to see ME again. (yawn, again)
You know what would look good on you? ME! (yawn, again)
I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart. (Do I hear violins and harps?)
My name is Right...Mr. Right. (scream)
Somebody call the cops...because it has to be illegal to look that good. (yawn, again)
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. (do you smell something?)
Was your father an alien...because there's nothing like you on earth. (PU)
Can I have your picture, so I can tell Santa what I want for Christmas. (you can tell this is a three year old)
People call me John...but, you can call me Tonight. (Oh...Geeee-z-z-z-z-z-)
Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you. (let it be known, that women marry these jerks)
If I were a burger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous. (somebody help this guy)
Excuse me...but, I lost. Can you give me directions to your house. (somebody paid the bail money for this desktop to get out of jail)
Are you from Tennessee...because you are the only 'ten' I see. (WOOOOOOW...I bet this guy is on an academic scholarship some place)
I was wondering if you had a moment, so I can hit on you. (so well-mannered)
You make me wish I were not GAY. (oh, boy; oh girl)
AND FINALLY...(Thank God...)
You're so HOT, that you make the sun envious. (will somebody call 911?)
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Copyright; 2012; Jerry Aragon; The Humor Doctor
