"If I don't matter and it doesn't mind"

Electric Freefall

Fever is singing in my ears tonight
Tomorrow I hope it might go away
If I don't matter and it doesn't mind
I wish tomorrow could have been today
But time only flies until it is chased
I fear catching it and leaving behind
All of these blue stars and this blue moonlight
Which leaves me wondering if I should say
Let fever sing without unseemly haste

I choke down aspirins doing my best
To live because I have no time to waste
If life is what I am supposed to do
Since I seem to have a knack for the now
You might miss me and I know I'd miss you
Having done this much I could do the rest
Should mortality and the flu allow
But I just get so sick of getting sick
I want to develop immunity
Getting well seems an existential trick
Of our illusion of impunity
Since no one escapes from this place alive

Here where when one flu takes its leave of me
It's only so the next one can arrive
In some unhealthful continuity
Where run-amok TVs squawk down the hall
Looking for me with their sickly blue light
Burbling broadcasting electric freefall
Like fever singing in my ears tonight
A night it looks now I might leave behind
If I don't matter and it doesn't mind

+Steven Curtis Lance



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